Sun Bathed Daisies
by SunnyWallflower
Summary: Trying to move on from her mother's death, Rebecca Reinhart returns to Flower Bud Village. She returns to face her past from her best friend to her not-so best friends to her first love. *No longer continuing. Just keeping because it's my first ever fanfiction. Please forgive the Sue and the general bad writing.*
1. According to You

Flower Bud Village… a place I haven't been in for years. I tuck my walnut locks behind my left year and sigh in disbelief. _I promised myself I would never come here again_, I thought pensively, _but I owe it to Dad to try_. Searching for a golden blonde in the near empty train station, a heavy all-to-familiar feeling of regret settles in my stomach with dreadful memories of my last year there. It's a quarter to six in the evening and my escort back to Flower Bud is nowhere in plain sight. An overwhelming sense of awkwardness of being alone in a train station strikes me as I hear a voice sweetly tittering, echoing eerily in the station.

"She should be somewhere around here. Hurry up, you little dweebs." When I heard her voice, I immediately perked up and straighten out my navy blue pea coat.

"Dweebs? What are you, a six grader? We're walking at a normal pace; you're the one who's taking a fifty miles-per-hour stride." I laughed and picked up my bags as the voices drew near.

"There she is! It's the one and only, Rebecca Reinhart!" Evelyn "Eve" Reinhart, my cousin, exclaimed. Her wavy golden blonde hair shone like spun gold and Eve's true blue crossover jersey dress paired with lime green espadrilles was worn tastefully as I always remember. Eve was my best friend, but I felt that we drifted apart when I had to leave Flower Bud. I hope that I get another chance to make up for lost time. Eve is twenty-two years old like me and our mothers were twins, which practically made us sisters. Sun kissed skin, perfect complexion, a winning smile and charm to boot makes her a big catch. She has quirks, but they're little things like being a neat freak or organizing clothes by colors. It sounds like I obsess too much about her however I, just, miss her a lot.

I gave Eve a big hug and said," I missed you, Evie."

"Aw, I missed you, too, Becky"

"Okay guys no more best-friend clichés or I'll sic Reeves on you." I looked up to see a tan, muscular man about my age smiling.

"Reeves is six feet under making friends with the worms, Joe." I said pulled a face which set him off laughing,"Hey, Joe! It's been too long since I made someone laugh at me without being so serious."

Joe Greenwood was a good friend of mine in Flower Bud and like Eve the distance took a toll on our relationship. He was a bit shy with girls, but he is the sweetest boy I've met and his face with or without baby fat was adorable. He was endowed milk chocolate irises and the cutest dimples I have ever had the grace of seeing.

A handsome caramel skinned man came up to me and shook my hand. His unruly coal black hair framed his face similar to a lion's mane. When he spoke his voice took on a smooth unctuous tone, "You must be Rebecca." _Duh, who were you expecting, Madonna?_, "You're prettier than Eve described you as. It is a pleasure to meet you." He then proceeded to kiss my hand, but stopped when he saw my expression even though I couldn't see it myself, Eve told me later it was like he offered me a cup of his own saliva. "I'm sorry! My name is Dan Roberts, I'm Eve's boyfriend. The whole hand-kissing thing was a bit much, huh?"

"Oh yeah, Eve told me about you. Next time, stick with a handshake." _Yeah, no need to make love to my hand._ Maybe I'm being harsh, but from what I hear about Dan I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like him. Dan is Eve's on-and-off again boyfriend and he is an unbelievably big womanizer. The first time they broke up was because he was dating another girl at the same time Eve and he were. Right now, they're supposedly together.

"Hurry up, Kurt! You're the slowest one here!" Eve called to a man walking up towards us. My heart skipped a beat. She never told me she was bringing Kurt with her!

"Hey." I said, shaking nervously.

"Hey." Kurt said awkwardly. He took my suitcase and started to walk in the opposite direction.

"Kurt!" I called, feeling hurt. "I… I'm…"

He turned around and looked at me. The pain in his eyes reminded me that it was my fault, never his. I didn't say anything. What could I say to a man who will never forgive me? 


	2. Say It Again

"Rebecca, Darling, you've grown beautifully for an interval of eight years. Oh, I'm dearly sorry for your loss, I know your mother was very important to you. How is your father?" Mayor Theodore, even if he looks like a harmless, fat, little chipmunk, can push anyone's buttons- intentionally or not. Why is he unintentionally harassing me? The reason: I came five minutes late to my own welcoming party held at my uncle, Duke's, bar called The Moonlight Cafe.

"Well…my mother was very important to me, she gave birth to me. And my dad and I aren't on speaking terms…" If you want to create an underwear-bunching-up uncomfortable feeling just have two-thirds of your conversation to be about family drama. My mother died one-year-and-a-half ago because of an incident. My father, Daniel, was divorced from my mother for seven years and was the one to suggest to me that a change of scenery would help me cope with my grief. I'm not speaking with my dad because of his fiancé, Lise. A few days after the funeral, my dad came by to tell me that he was marrying Lise and that when he suggested a change of scenery he meant coming to live with him and _her_ in Mineral Town. It took me three years to accept my parents' divorce. And my mom just died, so don't expect me to smile and be happy that my dad is marrying a smiley faced Barbie. I fought with him and told him to not bother inviting me to the wedding. That's the last time we've talked with each other.

"Oh." Theodore's expression was akin to a fish's face blended expertly with pity. He cleared his throat and looked around the room. "Well, it was nice talking to you and I hope you feel better. Now I'll leave you to talk with the others." Despite his size, Mayor Theodore was faster that a leopard on a defenseless prey. I sighed in relief and head towards the snack table.

"Run Forest, run." I muttered to myself. _I just want to sleep_, I thought consoling myself with a cup of cherry punch.

"That's not a very good attitude for your first day back." As soon as I hear the voice, I nearly spit up my syrupy punch.

"Hey, Blue! It's been a while," I hugged him cheering up immediately. Blue Green of Blue Sky Ranch and also one of my friends in Flower bud. He and I didn't care each other at first since we had mutual friends, but after being lumped together on a school project we found out we had lots of things in common like we like spending quiet moments reading or playing Monopoly until our friends beg us to stop. "Didn't expect a visit from you today. I thought you weren't a party person."

"Well, I make exceptions for certain people. People that I like. So, obviously you should be flattered." Blue offered a chocolate chip cookie which I accepted.

"You're going steady with Ann, right?" said I, looking at a redhead who was glaring daggers at us. Blue's eyes darken to a stormy gray.

"We're _friends_." Blue remarked grimly.

"Okay, sorry I asked." There was an awkward silence between us that was filled with the raucous noise of partygoers surrounding us.

Blue brightened up and said,"Want to meet for lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure, sounds good."

"Meet me at Calloway Café at twelve o' clock." He wrote some instructions on a napkin with a handy dandy pen. He handed me the napkin and smiled," You have some punch on you're chin."

I blushed and furiously scrubbed my chin.

"Well I better go home before Ann burns two holes into my head." He said nodding towards a fuming Ann who kept a deadlock stare on us. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye." I looked at his muscular back; one I knew was attained by working on the farm every day. I grinned to myself and finished off the dreadful syrup passed off as punch. For the first time in a long time, I felt secure despite the ominous feeling of the past looming over me. I think I'll be okay here.


	3. One

"Hey!"

Ellen Green popped up behind me. Ellen's bright doe eyes twinkled and she grabbed me into a hug. She grabbed my arm and said, "Thanks for cheering up my dreadful cousin. He's been feeling down since he and Ann had a huge fight. He's told you about it right?"

"Really? I mean I think I heard that they broke up. He didn't tell me a thing. What was it about?"

When Ellen realized my confusion, she immediately clammed up. "Well I think he should tell you himself. Anyway, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your mom. I really miss her. I'll always miss the fact that she always made the best homemade caramels and she was always nice to me. Remember when she made most of the costumes of the school's Snow White play and if a kid was uncomfortable she would change it just for them." We both smiled at each other reminiscing about the bitter sweet times. Bitter because of obvious reasons and sweet because of the mother that everyone wished they had but didn't.

Ellen saw my grim expression and backed off the topic. She glanced at me pityingly and said," It's nice to see you again. We should meet up sometime." Before she can say anything else, I make my way to the public bathroom in the bar.

I sit in a Pepto Bismol colored stall and bury my face into my hands. I wait for tears to pop up, but I'm left dry and unemotional. I haven't been able to cry for my mother since her death. I wanted to just relieve myself by mourning for her. I felt an intense sorrow, but I held so much back. The only time I ever just let go was when my dad and I fought about Lise.

"Ugh she's such a little slut. You saw her throw herself at Blue. Doesn't she have anything better to do than act like a hussy towards your man?" I recognized the callous, yet deceivingly sweet voice. It belongs to an unrelenting, haughty witch named Gwen, who shares with me a mutual hatred for each other. I despised her whole being. Being the tall, charming and, dare I say it, tan goddess she hides her enormous insecurities by creating them for others with a potent dose of gossip. There are bits of it that are true, but she exaggerates most of it until it becomes a juicy piece of gossip that everyone is willing to take a bite of. Since she was the prettiest and most interesting girl in eighth grade, my friends and I ingratiated ourselves until we were practically begging her for a treat like dogs. I realized that I shouldn't have to be kissing up to some girl to be her friend. Then, I learned that Gwen had this sadistic habit of stealing boys from other girls and smearing it in their faces and bully girls unable to defend themselves. She repeatedly excused herself with the fact she had a terrible childhood and a sexually abusive father which gave her a screwed-up mind, but honestly I don't think that validates her at all. Most girls burst into tears upon hearing this, thinking of how brave she was and how great she was for enduring this with aplomb, but if she took her pain and turned it into kindness or at least not a bully other girls I could sympathize with her pain. It's not that I don't find that situation heart breaking, especially since I came out of an abusive relationship a year ago, I just don't think that ordeal justifies Gwen's actions. Then, there was Gina. Before I moved, I had a sleep over where she forced all of my friends and me to do terrible things to the poor girl. I'll never forget her face, pleading for help. That moment I decided that I don't anything to do with her and lost most of my friends in the process.

"I know right! And, like, in front of you to, like, boot." An unfamiliar voice whined, "That's so, like, unfair for you!" Oh my harvest goddess, who is this, like, dumb wench?

"Seriously, I don't care what those two a-holes are doing." There was a hardened tone to Ann's voice. "Both of them can go to hell."

That's it. I flush the toilet to alert the snide cows that there is another presence in the seemingly empty grass field. I exit the stall and coolly observe each and every one of those witches pale except for Gwen. She went back to applying what could be her fifth coat of lip gloss. There was Ann, Gwen, and an unfamiliar face. She had baby blue eyes complimented by golden wheat locks, who was unfortunately covered only by a sad, sagging, small piece of cloth she would call a dress. The girl's blinding white go-go boots imprinted itself in my mind. Ann had her washed-out carroty hair in loose curls and wore a flowery sun dress with a pair of light green mules. Gwen donned a gold sequined tube dress flashier than a Vegas Show girl that showed off every inch of her toned, golden tanned thighs.

"Hi Becky nice to see you again." Ann squeaked out nervously. Strange, since she was a loud, free-spirited tomboy last I saw her. I felt a pang of betrayal since I thought we were friends and here she was bitching about me for something I don't know I did.

"You don't have to see anything, Ann. I can see it on your face." I turn to exit, but stop myself to say, "You know what you have in common with a toilet? You're both full of crap." With a defiant toss of my hair, I stormed out of the bathroom.

The instant my feet exited the bathroom, I made my way to the vineyard in the back. It was my favorite spot to go when I felt sad; it was my sanctuary. After I moved, I couldn't find another place like it. It was large enough to hide in and, a bonus, it was stocked with plump, ripe grapes there for the picking. It helped me deal with school and family. It was the only place where I could clear my head and sit around to think. No one except Eve, my mom, and Kurt knew about this place. Kurt and I used this place as the ideal location for our dates.

I walked deep into the vineyard and sat down on the fertile soil with my arms around my legs. My skirt fluttered in the calm breeze like a four year old's party dress, I didn't care at the moment. With my head bowed, I sobbed broken heartedly. So, I couldn't cry for my mom, but I could cry for anything else. It sucks. All of this was a mistake. Ann hates me and Kurt, too. Two people, I care about hate, me with cold abhorrence.

"If you want to get sick, I suggest you take a dip in the river." I lift my head up in surprise. Kurt came walking towards me, with certain, intrinsic swagger, it was like he wasn't bragging, but he knew he looked good. He was holding two steaming cups of herb tea; it was his favorite. He handed me a mug of warm, herby goodness. "Crying doesn't help anything, unless you want to drown yourself with self pity."

"Oh hello, Simon Cowell, are you here to judge me?" I raised my eyebrow and sipped my tea. _Or are you here to tell me how much you despise my being_, I added sarcastically.

Kurt furrowed his brows and said frigidly," Don't victimize yourself so much and then, maybe, you wouldn't be judged so much." I sat there with my mouth open, completely speechless which only encouraged him. "That's your problem; you think you're always the victim." I stood up, unwilling to listen. "And you hate confrontation. You can't bear the thought of anything being your fault."

I don't know if I was mad because Kurt was being a jerk or that he was right. At that moment I blew up. "Just say it: you hate me. You hate me for dumping you over Jeremy Russell. Well guess what ended up in disaster the year before? You don't know? Okay then I'll show you." I lifted my skirt up and splashed some tea on my thigh. The foundation on my thigh eroded to reveal the six inch scar that bore it self unashamedly.


	4. Suddenly I see

"What happened?"

I paused. And hesitantly responded, "We got drunk and we fought over where to get take-out from. I told him we were done, he pulled out a knife. That's all." I lied, looking intensely at the dregs of green tea leaves as if they were a fortune.

"I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's probably my fault." I shrugged and plopped myself next to Kurt. "I guess you're right to an extent. I like to see myself as the only innocent party sometimes." I finished off my tea and wiped my lips clean.

Kurt gave me a cautious sideways glance. He took a deep breath and said, "I don't hate you." I looked at him curiously. "I mean 'yes' I did hate you for the first eighteenth months, but you were right that long distance relationships are too much work for fifteen-year-olds. Eventually, I got over you and moved on. I dated Jordan for a while, and then she went on to college and broke up with me." He laughed sardonically, "You know she legally changed her name to Nami? I mean I liked her, but not enough to move away with her. I just had feelings for both of you, guys, that's all." He said this all in a rush. Now, Kurt sounded more serious. "I wanted to reconcile with you since you came back, but there was something holding me back. We can't forget what happened between us. I just want to be friends."

"Okay." I faced him. Deep down, I knew for a bunch of no-good teens, we were each other's first love. Nothing could change that, you can only move on. I smiled," Thanks, I needed to hear that."

As we both rose up, I gave him a small peck on his fore head. We both grinned and walked back to the debacle that was my welcoming home party.

* * *

"So, I presume the party was a big hit, milady?" Eve commented in a terrible British accent as we unpacked my bags in our room. She glanced quizzically at my pair of raggedy lace underwear. She proceeds to daintily place them back in the back in my lime colored duffel bag. Eve turned around in her desk chair and grabbed a marker.

"You may," said I in an equally terrible British accent, folding my never ending supply of cardigans. Eve turned around to reveal a drawn in forest green handlebar mustache. I in the meanwhile had come out from a shower ten minutes ago and had on a Princess Leia towel wrap on my head. We both threw on our haughtiest, British aristocracy-inspired faces and broke out in guffawing laughter similar to a hyena love fest.

"Oh yes, _ha _we are quite _ha aha ah _the dignified bunch."

"Speak for _ha _yourself, Princess Leia _ha aha_! Please show me the force of my mighty handlebar mustache. _Ha aha ha ha ha_!"

"Hey look in the _ha ha ha_—"I held my sides as I struggled to stop sounding like a dog in labor.

_Thump thump, _the walls separating our room and my Uncle Duke's voice resounded with the rhythmic thumping of Duke's fist. "Hey! Some people are trying to sleep here." Duke grouched. Eve and I snuffled out our giggles in my folded clothes. Minutes later, we eventually stopped.

"Hey, what's this?" Eve brought out a baby blue, porcelain box accented with gold butterflies and white daisies. The moment I saw the box, I snatched it out of her hands and cradled it protectively.

"Careful! Don't touch it!" I admonished.

"Why? What's in there? The head of Morticia Addams?" Eve, still joking around, reached for the box and I fended her off.

"It's none of your business!" I snapped defensively. She reached for it again and I slapped her hand away. "Just stop it!"

Eve saw the serious glare in my eyes, like a defensive mama bear with frightened cubs. She dropped her grin faster than a fat girl slides down a greased fireman's pole.

"Fine, maybe then I won't tell you I'm pregnant." Immediately, the burning hot anger dissipated. I rushed to her side as she rubbed her slightly protruding stomach, lovingly.

"Is it –"

"His?" Eve asked meaning Dan. She nodded. It's not that Eve's some five-dollar slut, but she's been in enough love triangles to write ten books. I mean, who wouldn't want a sun kissed tan and thick, wavy dirty blond locks which encased a soulful being who wanted to just love and be loved? She glowed with a radiance that could be achieved by knowing that there was a small being that will always love you.

"When did you find out?" I was grinning so hard I thought my cheeks were going to burst.

"About the fifth time I puked." We laughed.

I knew how much Eve wanted a baby. She would do anything to prove her mother wrong. Eve's mother, Georgia, was the twin of my mother and shared with her the seemingly unrealistic dream of becoming Hollywood actresses or at least become famous. They often dreamt of smooth talking, strong jawed men sweeping them away to a lavish red carpet event or residing besides Beverly Hills's finest. When a young man, by the name of Julian Gatsby, came to town for a few weeks from the City, he enticed Georgia and my mom with stories of decadent balls and fancy aristocrats that he worked with. My mom eventually got over the dream and moved on, accepting the undeniable fate that she would, soon, be an ordinary, country housewife. When my mom got married to my dad, Georgia faced the harsh reality that if she didn't leave, she would be a boring old housewife like my mom. So, she left without glancing back at all once. Then a few months after my birth, my uncle Duke found Georgia crying and begging to him in the middle of a snowy night. She pushed a small, angel faced baby into his arms and disappeared days later. No one has been able to locate the father, so Duke took the nameless baby in his tender, loving care. He named her Eve because at the time she was given to him, it was the eve of the Starry Night festival. Eve grew up acknowledging the cold fact that her mother could not bring herself to love Eve enough to keep her. She didn't shroud herself in denial that her mother would someday appear to give Eve the mother she deserved, as far as Eve knew Duke was Eve's parent and more. Eve regrets that her mother left her, but she doesn't regret that she was left in Duke's care.

"Does Dan know?"

"Yes, but he proposed before I got to tell him." Eve's beaming smile could no longer be reigned in. She held up a simple, but gorgeous platinum setting with a modest princess-cut diamond. Eve started crying with uncontainable happiness at the realization of her good fortune. "We're marrying one month after the baby is born. And I want you to be my maid of honor! Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Yes, of course I will." I started crying too and I hugged Eve so hard I might have broke her spine.

The door opened all of a sudden and Duke came in grumpily, as he was sleepy, through the door. Before he said anything, he saw us in a crying mass of happiness. Eve flashed up her ring and Duke smiled.

"Congrats, now let me sleep."


	5. Eh Eh, Nothing Else I Can Say

Ugh… I hate waking up to a misty morning. It was foggy and cold. I could hear the rain pitter and patter. I shuddered and retreated back into my fluffy down comforter. I lay my head down on my soft pillow and wondered why I woke up. I check the alarm clock which read 10:05 am and I heard shouting in the restaurant front. Groggily, I walked towards the front while putting on my baby blue terrycloth robe. In the front, Eve was arguing with Uncle Duke about payments or something about making one.

"I told you already I'm not going out in the frickin' rain, just to deliver a payment!" Eve said stormily and stomped down her foot to make a point. "Why can't I do it some other day? When it isn't raining? Better yet, why can't you do it?"

"I told you already that the payment is due today and I have to go out of town today. And you should know how Woody is about late payments!" Duke thundered and smashed his fist frustratingly onto the bar. "I'm not going to miss another payment!"

"What's going on?" I sat down on a bar stool and looked at them.

"I don't want to go out right now in this gross rain. I just got my hair done and if I go outside it'll get frizzy." Eve pouted, tears staining her face. And Duke muttered something that started another fight.

"I can do it." I said calmly, startling both of the verbal warriors. "Who is it? I can get ready now."

"It's Woody and his grandkids. They installed in those dark cherry wood shelves and asked for 800 gold." Duke informed me, the cherry red hue fading on his tan face faded. "Also, give this to them." He handed me a bag filled with food. "I got to go." Putting on his burgundy sports coat, he left. Duke believed that real men didn't need umbrellas.

"Thanks." said Eve putting out a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon hash. I smiled and took the plate hungrily. "Sorry about my pregnancy-induced mood swings."

"So, I talked with Ellen yesterday. She said that Blue and Ann got into a huge fight, what was that about?" I asked for the sake of conversation with my mouth full of bacony goodness.

Eve almost choked on her apple juice, then contemplated her options and sighed, "All right, I guess I owe you this. Blue had some big feelings for you before you left and when Ann found out she got crazier than Glen Close in Fatal Attraction. Nearly bit off Blue's head. Blue, apparently, told her that he had feelings for both of you and that he and Ann should take a break. Ann was agreed that they should break up and came to the party, last night, to start some shit."

I grimaced, "So, why is she mad at me? It's not like I said I like Blue."

"Don't know jealousy, I guess."

"I'm going to see him today at Calloway Café."

Eve looked at me and said,"Don't get mixed up in this mess, for your own good."

"I'll try not to."

* * *

The rain eventually let up and I walked towards Woody's Workshop with the bag of goodies and money in tow. I felt light and airy in my cap sleeved white cotton dress. It had a swingy skirt that made me feel like a cloud and swept by my knees. I smiled and skipped down the road in a pair of candy red heels, something about good clothes filled me with undying joy.

I knock on the door and see it's unlocked, so I open it. Nothing could have prepared me for this. Limbs were tangled up with each other in a frenzied mess. I opened my mouth in shock to see Joe making out with a girl on a table. Joe looked up in surprise and dumped off the girl carelessly. He blushed and straightened out his clothes. The girl looked just like the brat from yesterday with Gwen except her blond hair was darker with light brown highlights in tight, spiraling curls. Her skirt was hiked up her creamy thighs to reveal a lacy violet garter and matching panties. We both turned fire engine red when she saw me and immediately smoothed down her Lolita styled skirt. Joe ignored the girl who was fixing up her velvet bows holding up her curls that fell like a waterfall of gold.

"What brings you here, Rebecca?" Joe asked curiously, still blushing.

"Uh… hi. Sorry to interrupt… Here's the payment for the shelves and some goodies that Eve and Duke cooked up." I stammered, noting that the girl's hot pink bra was showing. "I have to go."

"Wait!" Joe grabbed my arm and smiled. "Stay. I have some orange juice." Like a good glass of OJ is going to erase this nightmare.

"Umm… what about your girlfriend?"

"Oh." He finally noticed the girl he was about to make love to. Typical Joe attitude to not even notice the girl he was playing tongue hockey with. "This is Katie. Rebecca, this is Katie Reynolds. Katie this is Rebecca." Katie smiled and hugged me.

"Hi, sorry I couldn't come to the party yesterday. I had to go to the City."

"It's okay. Do you have a sister? I think I met her yesterday."

Katie frowned. "You mean Bambi?"

_Bambi?_ It took a few moments to process this precious nugget of info. I nearly broke out laughing. No wonder why she dresses so slutty, it's that or looking like Snow White.

"Please don't laugh. Bambi's had a hard time because of her name." Katie said knowing the look on my face.

Guiltily I said, "Sorry. I think I should go. I don't want to interrupt this little thing you have with your girlfriend. I'll see you later."

Joe's face visibly sunk for a moment then he grinned so hard I thought his cheeks were going to implode. He wrapped me up in a hug and said, "I'll see you later too."

I gave him the envelope and bag then left. "Bye."

As I exited, I saw the back Kurt's head and I started to wave, and then suddenly stopped. He was talking with a pretty, willowy woman. She had obsidian hair and a thin, almost frail frame covered with extremely heavy clothes. The forest green dress hug heavily on her tall, lithe body and her feet were anchored down by a pair of clunky coffee heels. She had pale pink lips that accentuated the light sea foam green eyes that glittered and her cream, almost anemic, complexion contrasted dramatically with her hair. She smiled shyly and gave Kurt a shy kiss. To my surprise, Kurt pulled her in by her waist and deepened their kiss.

I clutched my chest and hid myself behind a tree. _Relax_, I told myself, _he doesn't belong to you anymore_. A tiny voice crawled its way into my head, _But that's what you wanted right? You want him_. I crumpled my forehead in frustration. _Why didn't Eve tell me? Wait, why does it matter? You're over him! _

"Hey, Rebecca!" Blue waved at me and Kurt and the girl turned around in response. I weakly stood up and refused to look in Kurt's direction. _Fight or flight?_ I asked myself. I chose flight. I ran in the opposite direction as fast as my legs could carry me.

"Wait!" I heard Blue yell.

* * *

Well, I wasn't crying. I couldn't cry because I knew I had no right to. It was weird, I hadn't felt this feeling since a while back. Flashbacks of girl fights in bars over Jeremy Russell screamed into my head. Jealousy. I was acting like a petty, jealous fifth grader who was denied a trip to Disneyland. I shouldn't have run. I should have grown some balls and faced them. What is wrong with me? I could come up with a laundry list, but for my benefit I didn't.

I looked at the glistening lake that reflected a multitude of colors from the sun. It was one of the most gorgeous sights I've ever seen. I closed my eyes and lay down on the soft grass. The wind softly whistled by and swept up wispy tendrils of my hair. I took a deep breath realizing how good the fresh air feels like. There was peace at last.

Unfortunately, my peace was short lived. The tranquility was disrupted by the acrid smell of cigarettes.

"Excuse me." I sat up and turned around. A handsome man with russet hair tied in a loose pony tail was leaning against a tree. He had a crooked smile and a fishing pole leaning alongside him. A cigarette peeped out of his mouth casually like it was specifically made for him. He looked to be about 28 but the cigarette added a strange youthful effect to him.

He spoke with a smooth tone. "I'm sorry, am I bothering you?

"Yes, as a matter of fact you are." He offered me one. "Sorry, I've been clean for three years now. Don't plan on rehab 2.0."

He took a few seconds to process this. "Of course, congrats." He smiled and sat next to me. "So what's a pretty girl like you doing here?"

I snorted. "I'm 20 years too old to be called a 'girl'."

He raised his eyebrows amused, apparently my annoyance was his amusement. "You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"I'm moping." I said gruffly wrapping my arms around my knees.

"About what pray tell?" He smiled a crooked boyish smile showing off his white teeth. Why am I not shocked? He probably takes a lot of pain to look good. "You don't have to worry about being judged. I'm a 27 year old vagrant from the City. I fish for food and money. But spend it mostly on cigarettes."

Oddly enough, I didn't feel any better. "Ok…Maybe my problems are not as bad." I toyed with a lock of my hair. "You wouldn't understand. It's just boy trouble." I said tauntingly.

"…"

I smiled, "I thought so." I looked at my watch, it was 11:20. I would need 30 minutes to get to Calloway Café. I didn't want to go, but Blue was good friend of mine. Besides, I owe him for ditching him a while ago. I picked myself up and told the man, "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"What's your name?"

"Rebecca Reinhart. Your name?"

"Ray."

"Bye, Ray."

"'Till we meet again."

* * *

Calloway Café greets me with the comforting aroma of freshly made cakes and pastries. Carl Moynihan was the owner of the cutesy pastel colored café with a baby face all mothers would love. He had slightly puffy cheeks like a chipmunk's and big baby blue eyes. His curly blond hair framed his baby cheeks and Carl's smile widened his cheeks. Katie was also there, now kempt, smiled brightly ignoring the fact I almost caught her doing the dirty. She had a pastel pink apron and her curled locks were held back by velvety magenta bows.

The café had a glass case that gave viewers a glimpse of the goddess sent pastries. Cheesecakes gave off an enticing aroma, glazed donuts begged to be eaten, pies showed off golden crusts, croissants promised to be buttery and flaky, and homemade brownies wafted seductively. I beamed at the lovely smells that greeted me. I loved food and cooking with a passion. I've even had culinary training in France.

"Over here." Blue called. He had his left arm casually draped over a chair.

"I'm surprised, you dressed more formally today." I said, noting collared button- down shirt and a pair of copper brown loafers. "Sorry about the incident earlier."

He looked a bit peeved, "Want to explain the little freak out earlier? I don't think I did anything wrong. Unless you consider greeting friends are a crime."

"No, I don't. I, also, don't want to talk about the momentary loss of sanity. By the way, what about your 'little' fight with Ann? You could have told me you and Ann broke up over me. Geez, no wonder why she wanted strangle me." I said through clenched teeth, settling into a chair. I cringed at how self-centered I sounded.

"I- I meant to-… Just… I didn't have a chance." Blue stammered. "Look, I didn't mean to come between you and Ann. But, don't you remember the day in the Town Square where we watched the sun rise? Didn't you feel something?"

"No, I didn't feel anything because I was in love with Kurt. Just like you should have been with Ann. You didn't tell Ann about this, right?" I was dismayed to see Blue nod. I groaned, "Why? Why do you want to stir up trouble?"

"I don't mean to. Look, I really like you. Why do I 'have' to like Ann? All Ann and I were and will be are really good friends. She's like my little sister."

"And you're like my brother. Why don't you like Ann now?" Nervously, I tug my skirt.

"I don't like Ann anymore because she's become Ashley to Gwen's Mary-Kate. They even have the same hairstyle. She has so much layers of make up, I can't make out the Ann I fell in love with. Ann acts like a shallow loser instead of the down-to-Earth tom boy I found so interesting."

"I'm sure if you talk to her about it, she would change."

"You don't understand, this started when you left Flower Bud. Gwen was her high school mentor. I've talked to her about this. She won't listen, this is a part of her now." He paused to take a breath. "So, you still have feelings for Kurt." This was a statement, not a question. His face was rigid as he spat out the words. He was really good friends with Kurt and hated to feel conflicted like this.

I shook my head. "No, I got over it. Seriously, we both moved on." I felt like I was reassuring myself more than I was to Blue. He looked unconvinced. "There isn't anything at all. Besides I think he's dating someone else."

"You mean Dia. Come on, give me a chance. What about a picnic on the beach? It's summer."

I bit my lip. It was tempting. One day couldn't hurt, right? We were both single. "Okay. When do you want to go?"

"Tomorrow. I'll pick you up." He got up. "Sorry, but I got to help Ellen at ranch. Did you buy anything? I'll pay for you."

"I'm fine. I didn't have anything. Besides, I still have money." I also got up and hesitantly gave Blue a hug. "Bye, see you tomorrow."

Blue fluffed up my hair. We both smiled nervously. "Bye."

* * *

On the way home, I noticed a small clinic that I never remembered seeing before. _I'll have to check it out_, I thought. I, then, saw someone that nearly stopped my heart. The painfully familiar sight of silvery blue hair braided into two silky ropes of hair. The coke bottle sized glasses perched on a slender nose. She even had the same clunky Mary Janes. The very girl Gwen and I and our friends nearly drove insane. Gina Barton was back.


	6. Sweet Dreams

I rushed home when I saw Gina. Fortunately, she didn't even see me, but I remembered how hurt and scared she was at that night. My anger was swelled and I felt hurt. What else has Eve hid from me? I entered the bar and saw Eve wiping up the bar, humming. I looked at her accusingly as she looked at me smiling. She dropped the smile and looked at me curiously, Eve believed in "Think first, and then respond."

"What's wrong?" Eve asked concerned in mid-table wipe. "You can tell me."

"Really? That's funny coming from someone who held so much back from me." Recognition grew on Eve's face. She sighed and sat down on a bar stool.

"What I didn't tell you was something you probably don't want to hear."

"Why didn't you tell me about Kurt at least? It would be nice to not make things awkward for Kurt and me." I raised my voice louder than usual.

"You know you're not over Kurt. You would only damage whatever is left of your relationship. I think we both know it's too soon for you to face any romantic relationships especially since last year." Eve didn't look into my eyes like my therapist would when he admitted something he didn't like.

I defended myself at her implied accusation that I was irresponsible. "Look… I got through rehab. I went through counseling with that British prick and I've been clean for a whole year. I think I'm getting my stuff together just fine."

"And, the first week in rehab you snuck in some pills in your underwear, you slept with that British prick, and you still can't control yourself when it comes to drinking." Eve countered levelly; she wasn't being mean about it, just frank.

I didn't respond because she was right. My eyes started to water as the familiar feeling of being such a mess came back. I felt like there was no order or stability left in my life and I longed for that.

It was hard thinking about Kurt. I felt sad, happy, and stupid for thinking about Kurt. I don't deserve Kurt and I want him to move on. I forced myself to believe this every time I see him.

I ran my slender fingers through my hair, "Sorry, I'm acting crazy as hell. Probably 'cause of my stress from moving back in." I paused for a moment, "But, why didn't you tell me about Gina?"

Eve looked away and started to polish furiously at the bar. "You're not going to like this, but Gwen told me not to tell you. She said it would be too painful for you to face and I agree."

"Wait, when did you start listening to Gwen? I thought you said she was a back-stabbing-would-shoot-a-mother-deer-son-of-a-bit—"

"I got the point. But, she's changed after getting engaged to Bob, she's _nicer_." She said this last word like it left a bad taste in her mouth.

I snorted skeptically. Eve frowned.

"Why is Gina here?" This question was more for the benefit of my curiosity.

"I really don't know… I never asked. In fact, most of us avoid her." Eve said ashamedly.

"Well, I can't talk to her either. I, also, know she hasn't forgiven us, so there's no need to push this." I said this as an added caveat to myself.

"Good idea." Picking herself up, Eve walked towards the kitchen and turned around for a moment. "Are you going to help me prep for tonight?"

"Yeah, I think I will." I picked myself off the chair and followed her as I always do.

* * *

The bar hustled and bustled with ebullience. It was filled to the brim; people had to squeeze through tiny openings made by walls of more people. I was surprised that Moonlight Café was doing well. Around the time I was still living here, Uncle Duke was nearly bankrupt. I came up to Uncle Duke with an empty tray.

"The bar seems to be doing very well." I commented.

"Yes, it's all thanks to Eve's cooking. Also, Eve in general because, I mean, no comes to a bar to see some wrinkly old man, right?" His eyes crinkled with mirth and sparkled, times like this made me wonder why my Uncle Duke was single.

"Please, you give yourself too much credit," I teased.

The door burst open and the whooping and hollering commenced. A horde of dirty, rowdy men rushed in a stole a table off of two very helpless men. I rolled my eyes and prayed Bambi would take this one for me. Even now, I still couldn't believe Bambi worked at the bar, but she did. I searched for the straight haired blonde in a skimpy black miniskirt with the inflatable fun bags clinging to her chest. Unfortunately, she was already busy and was heading towards a different table. Despite my annoyance towards Bambi and her overtly sexual nature, I had to give her credit because she was dedicated to giving her best service and worked for her money.

I believed that whining about catering to a bunch of jerks may help prepare me for this endeavor, but I sucked it up and went over there like a confident woman. I noticed Kurt and Joe on the outskirts, looking extremely uncomfortable. One man was making a crude joke about uptight women that made me curl my lip. He was obviously the alpha male since all of the men laughed despite the joke's lack of wit or humor.

I cleared my throat. "Hi, my name's Rebecca. May I take your order?"

Alpha Male ran his tongue over his grimy teeth much to my chagrin. "I'd like to order a slice of you drizzled in chocolate, if that's what you mean." Much like an orchestrated chorus, all the men laughed a noticeably rehearsed and terribly embarrassed laugh, except for Kurt and Joe.

I bit my lip and had a sudden urge to kick the man in his tiny shriveled-up balls. Instead, I said through clenched teeth. "I'm afraid that's not possible. Men with small utensils don't really cut it for me."

All the men tried to hide their snickers and I smirked triumphantly at his indignant expression. Joe had ordered a beer and smiled apologetically while Kurt ordered a Jack Daniels. Following Joe's lead, all the other men proceeded to order beers including Alpha Male, who obviously recovered from my sting. I headed back to the bar and started to fill up the glasses when a pair of hands covered my eyes.

"Guess who?" I knew it was definitely a man with a familiar voice.

"Riff Raff I presume?" The hands lifted off my eyes and I turned around to see my friend Bob Helms, whom I've known since my birth. Our mothers went to the same sorority in college and were best friends. We nicknamed each other Riff Raff and Magenta because of our love for the Rocky Horror Picture Show when we were kids and how close we were to each other like siblings. (Although, we didn't fully understand what was going on, especially with Dr. Frank-N-Furter being a transvestite.)

Bob gave me an awkward bear hug as he does with everybody who isn't six-feet-five-inches. "Hey Magenta, I was hoping to run into you today. Sorry, I couldn't come to your party yesterday. I wanted to, but Blue wanted to go and someone needed to finish gathering feed for Betsy, Hannah, and the rest of the girls." I smiled; Bob was always an animal lover who backed off of hamburgers and the like when he found out who was in it. All the townspeople shook their heads in wonder at how he would grow so big on things like tofu and soy.

"It's fine besides it's no big deal anyway. Except for the fact, your prissy girlfriend is talking behind my back. She practically stamped a scarlet letter 'A' on me last night." I crossed my arms in a defensively. "By the way, I love you, but that won't stop me from ripping out her dried out extensions in a second." I started to fill the rest of the glasses to distract my self from Bob's exhausted argument.

Bob seemed exasperated. "Magenta, you haven't met the real Gwen. She's funny, beautiful, smart, and most of all loving." I mouthed the whole argument as he said it. This was his case on every fight we've ever had about her. I hated to see a good man wasted on such a hopeless waste of air. After I told Gwen what I really think of her pretentious façade and catty behavior, I've found myself arguing against everybody even my friends over her.

Finishing off the last glass and setting it on my tray, I said, "Riff Raff, you haven't met the real Gwen. She's shallow, sly, and an affected pompous with valley-girl complex. The sooner you realize that, the better." I rushed off to the table with my tray in hand, avoiding Bob's hurt expression.

"Here you go guys." I said distractedly setting down everyone's glasses. I turned to leave, when a sudden slap across my butt stopped me. I spun around to see Alpha Male giving high-fives to those around him, laughing derisively. Feeling humiliated, I caught Kurt's eyes and silently prayed for help as he looked away. I felt like I was trapped in fog where no one could hear me no matter how loud I was. Alpha Male's obnoxiously base comments on my butt brought me back to reality. I wanted to scream my head off at this cocky son-of-a-hole and indignant tears formed in my eyes. As I was about to rush off, I saw Joe pounce on him. Joe had knocked Alpha Male off his stool and was repeatedly slamming his fist into the jerk's face. Although, Alpha Male managed to punch Joe a few times in his nose, but Joe didn't notice. For a few moments, no one knew what to do, but finally someone gained some common sense to pull the men apart. Oddly enough, that someone was me. I could see how serious Joe looked and became scared for the scumbag's life. I attempted to drag Joe's two-hundred pound, six-foot-three body off of the asshole, but Joe was too big and angry for me to pick up by myself. Other men arrived to help and held back Joe as others picked up the resentful coward off the floor.

As Alpha Male staggered off to leave, he roared, "You'll regret this you little punk!" And as the classy man that he is, he spat at Joe who stood there wiping off the blood dripping down his nose. That fight marked off the end of the night as everybody scattered after the fight and soon enough the bar was empty except for Duke, Bambi, Eve, and a couple of regulars milling around in the empty bar.

I searched for Joe to thank him and I found him in the men's room, washing off the remains of the dried blood on his face. I hugged him tightly and placed a kiss on his cheek forcefully before he could protest. "Thank you." I whispered, feeling utterly grateful.

"I'll do anything for you. I love you." Said Joe, who looked serious for once in his life.

"I love you too." Wiping off happy tears, I grinned at Joe, he wasn't normally like this. It was sweet because he rarely said this to anyone outside his family although I consider myself to be like an older sister to him.

Joe was about to say something when the door popped open with Bambi behind it. "What are you two doing?" She glared at us accusingly.

I distanced myself from Joe and countered, "Nothing. What are you doing, Bambi?"

"Cleaning up the bathroom," Bambi remarked icily, pointing out the mop she gripped tensely with a bucket beside her. She pointed at us with the mop that sprayed dirty water every time she moved it, which would have been hilarious if her expression wasn't so murderous. "You better hope you're not cheating on Katie again, Joe, because I can do a whole lot better than that sloppy ass out there. And you, Ms. I'm-Better-than-Everyone, better not try something or else I'll rip that ugly brown, frizzy mess out of your head. Are we clear?"

"Crystal." Joe assured her, sounding hostile. I shot Joe a curious glance and we edged our way out of the bathroom. Joe was met with a hug from Eve and a friendly pat on the back from Uncle Duke. He grabbed his coat and looked around for something else.

"Anyone see Kurt?" Joe asked.

"Why? Need a body guard?" I kidded.

"Sure do. Never know if those thugs will come back to 'mess me up.'" He grinned as he put on his coat.

"Good night." I said as I wiped a table with a dish rag.

"Good night." I wasn't sure, but I thought Joe had said this last part rather caringly. "Sleep tight."


	7. Lucky

I am ugly. No elaborate way to say this, so I say it simply. Sure, I resembled my mother who was thought to be beautiful in an elegant Audrey Hepburn sort of way. But, I look like my mother if she downgraded and let herself go.

Glaring into the full length mirror that Eve owned and I criticized myself. My tan skin was peeling around my knees and calves, my meticulously curled walnut hair became frizzy, and my chest was too big for the top of my favorite watermelon-printed dress. It wasn't in an oh-isn't-that-nice-you-just-gained-a-b-cup sort of way, but more like in an is-she-smuggling-two-clearly-struggling-baby-shih-Tzus-in-her-chest kind of way. Why all this concern? Well… I was going on a date, at least by Flower Bud Village standards. The time became eleven-forty. Nothing I could do about my bursting chesticles because I had only two minutes to leave before I was late. After a swipe of light nude lipstick, I began my search for my favorite pair of woven sandals. Eve came in the bedroom, wrapped in a bathrobe complete with a towel turban.

"You're not late, are you?" Eve was impressed with my speed and agility in searching in the crowded closet.

"Pretty sure I am."

Eve leaned against the bedroom door and asked me seriously, "Look, are you sure you want to do this? I mean do you really like Blue as more than a friend?"

I hadn't heard what she said much less cared at this point because I was too engrossed in my epic search. "Yep. Sure do."

Eve furrowed her wrinkle-less brows and tossed over a pair of gold strapped espadrilles into my lap.

"These look nice." I said unenthusiastically, observing the thin straps and five-inch heel. I looked at the clock to see that I'm two minutes late already. Shoving my feet into the wedges, I thanked Eve and rush out the door with my matching watermelon purse.

"Good luck." Eve called as I left. _Easy for her to say_, I thought,_ she had the grace of a swan while my big ass is just an ugly duckling_.

* * *

The sky was gray, but cloudless and the air was warm. The saltiness in the air comforted me with faded memories as I spotted Blue on a beach blanket. As I came up closer, I saw that he was sleeping. His cap was off with his soft, amber colored hair splayed all over his face. Blue's lips were slightly opened and I could hear a soft whistling sound every time he exhaled. He looked so sweet and peaceful, like an angel. Just looking at him made me sleepy. Silently, I settled down and took off my shoes. Then happily, I curled up and drifted off to sleep beside him.

* * *

"Honey," My mother called worriedly, "Don't go so deep into the waves."

"Okay, mommy!" I said impatiently, I rushed over to my friends. At six years old, I thought I knew everything and told everyone so. Ann, in her gap-toothed glory, laughed as she splashed Blue with water. Following her lead, I splashed Eve, who giggled sweetly. Joe splashed Kurt, who returned the gesture by dunking Joe's head under water. Soon enough, we had a water fight of epic proportions where everyone was soaked to the bone.

Annoyed that I was no longer winning, I made up a new contest. "First one to touch the rock wins." I pointed to this spotty rock that jutted out from the strong waves of the ocean. My friends and I all finished our swimming classes a week ago and were eager to show off. "Get ready, get set, and go!" I jetted off towards the rock with others trailing behind.

Looking back, I laughed triumphantly at the others pathetically trailing behind me. Unfortunately, I didn't know how deep the rock was in the water or how strenuous the waves became to swim through as I got closer to the rock. My legs started to weaken and a current swept me under water. I came up for a moment and cried out for help. My nose filled up with water giving it a burning sensation and I kicked in the water until my legs became unresponsive and tired. For the first time in my life, I was frightened. My vision started to blur and someone came into my line of vision before everything went black.

"Come on, Rebecca. Please wake up!" My mother pleaded with tears staining her face. Her clothes were soaked and she was dragged away by my father as someone started to pump my chest.

"Please, Rebecca! Don't die!" My mother screamed pierced the still, dead silence.

* * *

"Rebecca, wake up!" I felt myself being shaken. Then, I realized it was all a memory, but oddly enough I was wet all over from the ocean. I coughed out the salty, lukewarm water and wiped the water away from my eyes. Blue was right in front of me with his warm hands on my clammy arms, looking worried. He took off his plaid flannel shirt and draped it over me and I started to notice how cold I was.

"What happened?" I shivered. Blue put his arm over my shoulder and I moved in closer.

"I think we were too close to the water and a wave washed over your face. I woke up when you started to scream and kick everywhere." He winced as he felt his stomach. "Horses have nothing on you, by the way." He laughed uneasily.

I blushed and put my head between my knees. "Sorry. I didn't mean to freak out especially in my sleep. How embarrassing."

"I meant that as a joke. It doesn't really hurt. In fact, I hardly feel it now." Blue reassured me. I looked at Blue skeptically. "Just out of curiosity, what were you dreaming about?"

I braided a small lock of my hair and said, "You know that time when I nearly drowned. You know when we were kids and we had that race?"

"Yeah, everyone was frightened. We all thought you were going to die." Blue's gentle light blue eyes gazed intently at me. My cheeks grew warm and I watched the waves crashing into the already beaten down sand. The silence became awkward and palpable until a growl was emitted from my stomach. My stomach snarled from the skimpy breakfast I had earlier and Blue, now smiling, opened a picnic basket in search for something edible.

He handed me a bowl of lemon-buttered shrimp with linguine pasta which I devoured voraciously. While, Blue bit into a BLT sandwich as I spoke. "So how is the business going for Blue Sky Ranch?"

He puckered his brow. "I wasn't expecting a business-related inquiry, but it's going well. Oh yeah, are you all right? I heard about that creep, Bud Wilson, and what he did to you." His eyes darkened. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to beat up the creep."

"I'm fine, besides Joe took care of it. He's sweet, really. Joe is like a little brother to me." I finished off the pasta and put it aside. "I remember how he used to have a crush on me in fifth grade, but he eventually got over it when he met that cute girl, Majorie, in his art class." Blue stared at me like I had two heads growing out of my shoulders.

"What?"

"Nothing. You look beautiful today."

"Really, you don't think my hair looks frizzy or that the peeling skins on my knees are gross?"

"Or that your chest looks to tight in that dress? Seriously, you look like you're going to burst." He said, chuckling. Blue didn't care about appearances regarding anything much let alone mine.

"Thanks." I said sarcastically while covering my chest with his shirt.

After that, we talked some more while eating strawberry yogurt as we nestled closer together. We caught up on what happened in high school and after that. I told him about getting a bachelor's degree in education, visiting culinary school in France and breaking up with my on-and-off boyfriend Jeremy Russell for good. He told me about how he declined from a scholarship to help the farm while his uncle, Hank, was seriously ill and how he almost married Ann.

I put down my cup off to the side. "Why didn't you marry Ann? You guys seemed perfect for each other."

Blue groaned. "I still don't see how we seemed perfect for each other. We're just really close friends. I didn't feel any type of spark when we kissed lately and I think we were starting to bore each other. There were no fireworks in our kisses anymore. Like this…" His hand cupped my cheek and he forced me to look into his light blue eyes. Blue leaned in towards me and I felt a tiny voice protest,_ you aren't ready_. In an instant, I pushed him away carefully.

"I can't." I mumbled uncertainly, not wanting to offend Blue. Blue frowned, but nodded understandingly.

"You need time. Jeremy Russell did bad things to you and you need to recover. I'm fine with that." Blue didn't sound fine, but I ignored him.

Eventually, we dropped the subject and began to debate about the best strategies for Monopoly. After talking for what I felt like was only five minutes, we realized it was already three o' clock. Four hours had flown by, well… technically two hours.

"I think we should wrap this up," said Blue, who was standing and stretching his arms.

"Good idea." I packed up all the empty containers and placed them in the picnic basket. After we packed up, we started to walk back towards Moonlight Cafe.

My feet started to ache from the high heels and the straps were starting to cut into my skin. I grunted. "Ow."

"Are you okay?" Blue stood still in his tracks, appearing to be concerned.

"Yes, Blue, because when I say contradictory things like 'ow' I'm perfectly fine." I took off my shoes and continued to walk. The gravel road didn't add to my already apparent pleasure. I hadn't noticed that Blue was walking beside me until I felt my body being lifted up.

"W-wh-what are y-you d-do-doing?" I stammered as he cradled me in his arms like a baby.

"Just figured that you would stop whining if I helped you." His playful tone didn't rest to well with me and I wondered how much of him had changed. I mean, back in eighth grade, Blue's idea of a prank was to get you to say "I C U P."

"Let me go Blue. I'm way too heavy for you!" I protested indignantly.

Blue snorted, "Like a hundred-eighteen pounds is too much for me too carry. Don't insult me."

"Really!" I huffed. "I don't need help; I'm a capable human being. So, don't insult me."

"We're here." Blue said, gently settling me down.

"Hey Blue. Hey Rebecca." The voice I dreaded to hear most had just greeted us. Kurt was the last person I wanted to see right now. I still felt upset when he didn't react to Bud's sleaziness. I mean shouldn't you lend bit of respect to your ex, at least enough to defend them?

"Hey Kurt, Dia. What's up?" Blue sounded cordial which was the opposite of the way I felt.

Kurt was wearing a black dress shirt and wool slacks which matched with his companion, Dia's, gray wool dress. Dia's elegant, but her weather-inappropriate dress perplexed me. It wasn't a particularly sunny day, but it was still warm enough to be considered summer. Yet she was wearing clothes that made one assume that there would be a blizzard. Which was something that people would feel (a blizzard that is), if they looked into her eyes, which was pretty but cold and emotionless. Her smile was practiced as if an etiquette teacher named "Helga" would have taught her; it was a comely yet polite smile. Every part of her seemed to be under a certain amount of restraint, like she was born and bred this way.

Kurt shrugged, "Nothing, really. What were you two doing?" An amused twinkle shone in his eyes.

"Nothing." I cut in before Blue could respond. I didn't know why but I felt self conscious around Dia like she was calculating everything that I did and wondering how Kurt ever found me attractive.

"We were on a date." Blue wrapped his arm around me, defiantly. His lips formed what he must have thought was a smile, which appeared more like a tiger greeting its dinner. "What are you two doing?"

"We were on a walk. It relaxes Dia." Kurt said, sounding somewhat challenging as well while looking equally affable.

To cut from the thick tension, Dia turned towards me and extended her hand. "Hello, my name is Dia Clove. It is a pleasure to meet you." I shook her hand and realized how frail it was. One accidental twist and her hand would be done for.

Dia's voice had surprised me because I thought she would have distant, pretentious air to her. She still had the same polite smile, but her voice was filled with warmth. Dia had the voice of an old Hollywood actress very much like Lauren Bacall. A husky yet still and very much feminine voice.

"My name is Rebecca Reinhart. It's a pleasure to meet you too." My voice came off as distant, but only because I was sidetracked by hers. I felt so cheap standing next to her while wearing my wet, dowdy cotton sundress under Blue's flannel shirt with her posh, stylishly gray dress complemented with a fur shrug. Though, I had to wonder why she wasn't wearing lighter fabrics or a shorter hemmed dress.

"I already know who you are. You are one of Kurt's ex-girlfriends, correct?" There wasn't anything particularly witchy about the way she said this, but I became a bit defensive.

"His first, actually." I knew there was no reason to add to the uncomfortable strain of silence, but it had popped out of me spontaneously. At the moment, I felt socially backwards, like I accepted the rulebook to "Socially Interacting for Dummies," but only to use it as a doorstop.

"Well… I got to go and tend to the cows. I'll see ya later." Blue gave me a small peck on the cheek and bid me farewell. To leave me with two people I could live without at the moment.

"I have to go and clean up the place inside." I fiddled with a salty, stringy lock of my damp hair and gazed at the ground.

"It's Tuesday, your day off." Kurt pointed out.

"Oh." I said dumbly. Really? "Oh" was my comeback? "Oh" is something that your grandmother says when she realizes she did not win Bingo.

"Well, I would love to get together soon, Rebecca. But, I'm afraid that Kurt and I will have to leave now." Dia looped her arm into Kurt's and she nodded politely.

"Bye." I waved half-heartedly as I watched them leave cozily. They looked like a it-couple from a royal family, and, eerily enough, untouchable. Her arm was perfectly placed against his arm and they leaned in together rather comfortably; they had a peacefulness that seemed to protect them from cruel invaders like some type of a barrier. A fragile, but firm barrier nonetheless.


	8. Firework

"Becca, are you free tonight?" Eve asked as I entered the house.

"Yeah, why?" I squeezed my hair to get rid of the excess salt water. Eve's coy expression immediately woke up my suspicion and I raised my eyebrow. My eyes find Eve's French manicured nails restlessly tapping on the phone. "Listen, I don't care what it is, I'm not doing it. Today's my day off, I'm way too tired." My arms folded across my chest, I cringed inwardly, noting how selfish I sounded.

Suddenly, she latched onto my left leg; her voice gained another pitch in its whine. "Please, Dan and I were supposed to go out and his grinchy old boss wants Dan to babysit his niece and I already promised that you would be free tonight!" She takes several deep breathes and bites her lip nervously. She tilts her head slightly and her eyes grow freakishly large in her sad attempt at a puppy dog plea.

Moments later, I give in, "Ugh, fine!" Annoyed, I throw my arms up into the air as a form of surrender. Eve squeals as she tackles me in a bear hug. We both laugh and she gives me too many kisses on my cheeks. It reminded me of old memories, when we both hung out 24/7; we would paint each others nails, gossip about celebrities, and squealed in unison during horror movies. If I had a sister, I wish she would be like Eve; a lovely, sweet, and bubbly soul.

* * *

After Eve's sneak attack, I decided to go for a jog especially since I stopped after my mom's death. Her death created this deep, dark hole where I found myself hiding in. My first reaction was to act hysterical and I pretended that she was still alive, that she was at the grocery store wondering if I wanted chicken or fish. Tears evaded me and I felt empty. I stayed home; rarely going out and always ignoring my friends. Nothing was funny, nothing tasted good, and nothing made me feel loved. Once, I tried to laugh as an experiment, to see if I could, and opened my mouth to only hear myself scream. Stupidly, I locked the door and rarely slept except for when I gave in to the power of sleeping pills. My health was disregarded; I didn't shower, ate little, and never clipped my dirty nails. Persistently, I would only clean the apartment, for my mother of course. For the first few months, my friends tried to reason with me into letting them in, but I knew I couldn't handle being around them. If I let them in, I would break; like a poorly crafted vase, I would crack if anything entered. Eventually, my father came to talk some sense into me. For the first time since three months, I let someone in. Although, I didn't let him in because I loved him, but out of respect for my mother who would have wanted me to. At first it went well, we talked daily and started to repair our broken relationship until he brought over Lise. The moment I saw her perfectly coiffed blonde helmet she calls hair, I became furious and told my father: a) to never ever talk to me, b) I was not his daughter, and that c) I hated him with a burning passion. He never came back or called since. Then, I proceeded to get myself back on track with everything: my friends, my job, and my letting go of the past. My friends welcomed me with open arms while my job didn't and I still feel like I can't get past my mom. Finally, I decided to follow my dad's advice on a new environment and called up Uncle Duke.

Before I left, I turned on the answering machine to see if I had any messages. Most were for Eve or Duke, but one was for me. A familiar voice mumbles nervously and I recognize who it is immediately. Ann's voice wavered as she asked if she could talk with me soon and that any day was fine. Contemplative, I look at my options: resolve this "funk" with her or just ignore because I know what she thinks of me already. The first seemed to be my best option because I wanted to restore Ann's and my friendship. I missed her spunkiness and her ability to turn sad situations into hilarious escapades. After a couple of deep breaths, I reminded myself that I did nothing wrong by going on one date with Blue and that the date might not even mean much. I mean, I don't know how I feel about Blue or how he feels about me. On one hand, guiltily, I feel a bit flattered and I kind of enjoy the attention and on the other hand, I know that dating someone your friend loves is totally and seriously wrong. At the moment, I can't tell toads from frogs or right from wrong.

* * *

Panting, I could spot Ann's home as I kept jogging down the road and saw Ann out there herself drinking water and chopping timber better than most men. I swear that Ann puts all the cocky jocks in their place when she's through with them. She's talking to some other girls who are tanning on a couple of rickety old beach chairs. Groaning as I realize who her guests are, I turn around when Ann sees me.

"Hey, Rebecca!" Ann calls out as Bambi and Gwen lift their oversized shades back. I stay still and I could hear Gwen and Bambi snicker. At the moment, my mind apparently has no control over my body as I turn around and walk towards the girls.

"Hey, Ann." My leg begins to shake nervously and I bite my lip. "I got your message."

"Oh yeah." Ann's eyes glue themselves to her scuffed sneakers. She begins to say something when I hear Gwen mutter, "Bitch," which sets Bambi and her into fits of laughter, while Ann's face reddens.

Before I could bite my tongue I ask, "Excuse me, but were you referring to yourself by any chance? Or is 'bitch' the only word you recognize because that's what everyone calls you?" _Or what about Bimbo, the golden tan glamazon with big hair and an even bigger ego_?

Visibly twitching to my glee, Gwen sits up to face me. "Oh so close, but I was talking about you, Einstein. I mean, what girl sleeps with her friend's boyfriend and acts like she's so innocent? A bitch that's who."

"I didn't and it's not your business anyway. Look, Ann, I'll talk to you later."

"Come on Ann, tell the slut off. She practically slept with him. Are you going to let her get away with stealing your boyfriend?"

That last bit set me off, "FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T STEAL ANYONE'S BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE BROKE UP WITH HER BEFORE HE AND I DID ANYTHING! SECOND, I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM THAT'S WHY I NEVER TRIED ANYTHING WITH BLUE! IT WAS ONE SMALL DATE, NOTHING SPECIAL! AND MAYBE THE REASON HE CHOSE ME OVER ANN WAS BECAUSE WE HAD A BOND THAT YOU AND BLUE MIGHT NOT HAVE HAD!" Ann freezes and she was about to respond until Gwen interrupted.

"A 'bond?' Who do you think you are? You little skank." Hysterical cackling bubbles from Gwen's pretty lips. Icy cold lemonade batters my face as Gwen throws the sticky sweet liquid on my face.

"Don't throw your drinks at me, you evil witch." Without hesitation, Bambi and Ann pull me back as I try to leap on the little bitch that casually steps back and proceeds to mock my attempt on her life. Clawing and kicking against the barrier of flesh, I find an extra pair of arms wraps themselves around my hips. It was definitely a guy because I found myself powerless against the muscular arms' grip.

"Get her away from here, Blue." Ann says. Her jaws locked grimly as she turns away. Ann locks eyes with me, her eyes distant and cold as a frozen wasteland. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, hope you both have fun." Gwen, sweetly, waves as she resumes her tanning session meanwhile I beg the Harvest Goddess to let the sun fry her skin to a crisp and set her implants on fire. At least then, the Wicked Bitch of my life would melt.

* * *

"Blue!" I call after him as he storms off. I run after him and grab his arm. "Please, I didn't mean that. Well… I mean the first part about not stealing you, yeah I meant that because it's true, but what I said about the date and not caring about you, I didn't mean. I m-me-mean I d-don-don't know. Blue, I'm really sorry if I hurt you."

I was about to apologize again but Blue pulls me in and presses his lips against mine. His lips taste like cherries and butter, odd but delicious. We stay still for a couple of minutes, exploring each others mouth. Breathless, we pull apart and gaze into each others eyes. His darkened grey blue irises are covered by his eyelids as he leans in for another kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him in this time letting his soft lips mesh with mine. Blue, suddenly gaining his senses, removes my arms from around him and averts his eyes from my direction. His face colors into a tomato-red shade and he shoves his hands into his coat pockets as he rocks back-and-forth on the balls of his heels. My lips still tingle from the kiss and I shift my hips from one side to the other.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I mean I care you, but I don't know if I could fall in love with you… I think you're a great person and I'm really terrible person. Honestly, I want to take it back. I want a redo. " In fact, a redo would be perfect at this point. In a nutshell, I pretty much treated Blue like crap, and my confusion only adds another layer to my crap casserole; I can't make up my mind if I still am in love with Kurt or afraid of relationships because of Jeremy and that's what hurts the relationship between Blue and I.

My cheeks start to burn in utter embarrassment and my running shorts begin to ride up uncomfortably. He doesn't say anything, but he draws closer to me; Blue's close enough that the smell the strawberry shampoo he is addicted to engulfs my senses. Firmly, my left hand takes his right while my right hand gently traces his strong jaw. Thankfully, he doesn't flinch at my touch. Hopefully, I say, "Why me, of all the girls you could have? Why me?"

Taking both of my cold hands in his warm grasp, his eyes fixed on mine, refusing to let go. "Because you gave me fireworks."


	9. Dancing Days

"I don't want you to go." Blue gazed at me sadly. The sun light glistened against his blue eyes which were wet. Roughly, he scrubbed out any traces of tears before he wrapped an arm around me. "Who's going to play that awful game Deer Hunter 3000 with me? Who's going to harass Old Gary's dog with me?"

I laugh, trying to sound optimistic. Ducking my head, I ask, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it doesn't take a rocket scientist to throw rocks at a rabid Rottweiler or the play a game shooting virtual deer." Tired, I sigh. "You know I'm not supposed to be here?"

"I know. Don't care." Blue grins wolfishly as he passes me the two-liter of soda he brought. He watches me take a deep gulp and takes one himself after.

"My parents are going to kill me. Dad will probably lock me up and throw away the key while my mom beats you up. Or the other way around."

Amused, Blue asks. "So in the end, I will get beaten?"

I nod sagely. "With my dad's fraternity paddle. Or with a broomstick. It just depends on who gets to you first."

"Right… Do you think I could bribe your mother into guarding me? Maybe with fresh dairy products?"

"My mom's a watchdog. A loyal one to boot. You would have an easier time convincing me that Gwen didn't get a nose and boob job over the summer."

"You … still hate her? I mean she's a total… what's the word for it?"

"Bitch?"

"Sure. We'll go with that, but she was also your good friend. Why do you hate her so much now?"

"A bitch's a bitch. Nothing changes. I had to get a dose of reality to see clearly."

"And what reality were you dosed with?" He looks amused but he has no idea what kind of a minefield he's stepping into. I think he can see that on my face because he, then, says," We should change the subject."

"You think?" I sigh again. "How does Kurt feel? I mean he acts like he's cool with me moving, but lately he's been avoiding me. And I know he is." _Like when I came into the choir room and we made eye contact then he proceeded to stumble over a couple of chairs just to get away_. "He's not an open person. I mean he barely tells me anything anymore. You're his best friend, you guys talk… I think."

"Yeah and we also braid each other's hair while gossiping about the latest celebrity couple."

"That's the last time I tell you about anything girly." Peeved, I punch Blue in the arm while making a face. "I'm serious."

"I'm serious too." He joked weakly. Turning away, Blue speaks to me slowly like I'm a kindergartener who doesn't understand the alphabet, "Kurt is my best friend, someone I love like a brother, and he told me not to say a word. So, I can't. Let's just say that he's devoted. I am too. Kurt and I'll always be here for you."  
_Devoted?_ "Like a watchdog?"

The sun begins to rise and our bottle of bubbly soda has fizzled out. Blue chuckles and ruffles my hair to my dismay. "Yeah, exactly like that."

* * *

"Do you remember this bench?" Taking a seat, Blue stretches his arms over the bench. It was that old wooden bench Mayor Theodore installed when he was elected. It's seen better days but it has the best view in the Town Square. From the bench, one could see the sun setting and rising against the endless field of lush trees. It feels like déjà vu since this was the place I last saw Blue before I moved.

Softly, I say, "Yes."

Turning around on the seat of the bench, I could see the fading chicken scratches we made on the back. It was supposed to say: For You and I are Past Our Dancing Days; but looked like: For You aml I are Pash Our Dancihg Lays. Goddess, I had terrible handwriting.

"For you and I are past our dancing days." Hesitantly, I set my head against his chest and dare to make eye contact. "I remember that book. So cheesy and dramatic although sweet…Blue, is it too late to start dancing?"

Blue doesn't answer for awhile which begins to make me uncomfortable. Abruptly, he rises up and stands with his back against me.

"Blue?"

Slowly, he turns around and faces me. Unsure of his facial expression, I begin to imagine that Blue is going to say dramatically, "No, I shan't want to be with you let alone dance with you, you spiteful wretch!" and Ann would appear in a stunning blue dress, which will sway gracefully as they both waltz away from me. Then again, I do have a vivid imagination or so I've been told.

Thoughts of Blue with soap-opera-grade hair making out with Ann passionately start to disturb me until I hear a voice that breaks through the fog and wakes me up. At first, the voice sounds far away and my attention is still focused on the image of Ann and Blue kissing and my desire to shove them apart. Eventually, the fog clears and the voice gains clarity. Oops, I completely forgot about Blue.

"Rebecca!" Blue has his hands on my shoulders and was lightly shaking me. "Are you okay?"

"Yep, sorry. Spacing out." Ducking my head, I smile apologetically. "What were you going to say?"

"How did you know I was going to say anything?" Blue says with an amused tone in his voice.

"Didn't you know? I'm a psychic." Jokingly, I tap my forehead.

"Surely you're kidding, do you also have a hotline and a turban?"

"I do, also I have a wise-cracking black cat named Salem. Is that good enough for you?"

"That's Sabrina the Teenage Witch."

For a brief moment we both stifle our laughter until I accidentally snort which sets both of us off. We spent a couple minutes trying to relief ourselves of mirth but the laughter kept bubbling forth. Finally, the laughter subsided but we were still grinning, our lips stretched from ear to ear.

"So, what did you want to say?"

Blue rose up again and offered a hand. "Rebecca, shall we dance?"

Happily, I take his hand and I put my other and on his shoulder at the same time Blue puts his other hand on my waist. As we began to dance, I quietly hummed while I swayed with Blue in perfect synchronization. Like we were meant to.


	10. Get It Right

_Sorry for writing such a short chapter. I just wanted to put in a filler at the moment._

* * *

"Remember that she's very shy. She won't talk much but she'll find something to do by herself. She also loves vanilla ice cream and mayo, but not together." Eve shoves a bunch of napkins into her red bag, which is already filled to the brim. Why did I volunteer to baby sit after a romantic encounter? "You have all the emergency numbers and Ronald will come back at nine."

Wringing out my newly washed hair, which still has the lingering scent of lemonade, I stare at the sullen ten-year old girl twisting her braids anxiously. Her body is slumped and her face is sunken with despair. She's a beautiful child though; like an innocent child in a painting but a constantly crying child.

"Eve… what should I do? I can't ignore her for two hours."

"Hmm, maybe a movie? We have Beauty and the Beast and Snow White. All you really have to do is feed her and make sure she doesn't get hurt."

"I guess so but it's too awkward. I don't want Meryl to feel unwelcome."

"Sorry, I got to go. Dan's waiting." A couple of honks from outside help emphasize her point. Eve steps back and I swear that she's glowing. "How do I look?"

"Don't you already know? You're gorgeous and so is that little fella inside of you."

"Fella? Who said that my baby's a boy?" Her head whips up sharply, her eyes narrow into a glare.

"I don't know. I just assumed."

"I'll see you later."

"Have fun."

Fifteen minutes in and neither of us have said a word. The only noises being made are chewing sounds as Meryl and I eat our tomato sandwiches. The sandwiches Eve made are delicious; the tomato is bright red and ripe, there's a good amount of pepper, bread is toasted and the mayo is deliciously creamy. Silently, I watch Meryl add more and more mayo even going as far as to dip her French fries in them. Her strawberry milkshake has been nearly emptied out and her fries are decimated. For a tiny girl she eats fast and well.

"So, Meryl what do you want to do? We have some Disney movies or we could play Monopoly. Or you can take a nap if you really want to."

The only response I get from Meryl is her semi-disgusted semi-confused expression. After she gives me the look, she resumes her mouse like chewing. The silence is creeping up on me like a nimble spider and my body shifts uncomfortably. There must be something to fill in this stillness. Spying Uncle Duke's old record player, I saunter over to it casually and browse through the records. Mainly Elvis and Sinatra, I dig up an old Gene Kelly record,_ Singing in the Rain_. Gene's smooth voice croons happily and rocking to the beat, I dance a bit. Like a sweet songbird, a small, trilling voice sings out behind me. Shocked, I hesitantly turn back to see young Meryl singing her heart out. She seems to completely lose her inhibitions and twirls around a couple of times. The music has completely hypnotized her or has possessed her.

"Eep!" When the music comes to a stop and starts skipping, Meryl finally notices me and squeaks nervously.

"That was beautiful, Meryl. Do you want to listen to another song? We also have Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, and Judy Garland. Take your pick."

Her lips opened up and Meryl murmured, "Judy, please."

"Of course, who doesn't love Dorothy?" I insert the new record and that's how Meryl and I spent the rest of the evening. Just singing and dancing around which is fine with me. When I trip on my own, we both laugh hysterically and I begin to wonder if Eve drugged our food. At nine, Meryl is so burned out and sleepy I wrap her in a blanket and let Ronald take care of her.

"Bye, and tell Meryl if she wants I can baby sit her again." I call out as Ronald puts her in the back seat of his car.

"Bye!" Surprised, I do a double take and see Meryl pop her head out of the car while waving at me.

"I don't know what you did with her but it's great. She's family, so thank you." Ronald takes my hand, making me think he's going to shake it, but he pulls me into a huge hug. Instinctively, I try to push him away nevertheless his grip tightens. He thanks me again and gives me some money. Then, he hands me a bottle and my body tenses up immediately. It's wine. "Here you go, Rebecca. Courtesy of Paradise Orchard, it's a one year wine so you might want to wait. Have a good night."

Watching Ronald's car pull out the drive way, I feel like the grim reaper just left me a death threat and my fingers are coiled so tightly over the bottle it feels like it's going to break. Deep breaths Rebecca deep breaths. Dr. Smith said that this would happen eventually. All you have to do is put the bottle down on the table and go to sleep. Although, I have been good and what harm is one drink going to do? No, Eve is right I'm not ready for this. Using all of my will power, I set the bottle down on the coffee table and walk away. Score one for Rebecca nil for her alcoholism. There's hope for me yet.


	11. Last Farewell

"What do you think?" Eve asked, holding up a beige chiffon skirt. She holds it up to her face and sucks in her cheeks. "You don't think that this makes me look fat?"

"Not really," say I absentmindedly. Her pink lips form a tiny pout and her reddish brown eyes roll.

"You know there's really no point in you coming here if you don't even help me."

"Mmm." I'm staring out the window like I'm searching for something but I know that I'm not. Sharply, Eve snaps her fingers and wakes me from my stupor. "Wuh? What Eve?"

"Does this make me look fat?" She pulls it to her waist and stares into a mirror.

"No, but it does wash you out. Here try this. The pink should make your cheeks rosier." I pass her a sleeveless shift and Eve makes a face.

She points to her growing stomach. "I'm pregnant. I would look like a whale and a half."

"So? Size up."

"No."

"Why not?"

Her voice grows small. "I already did. The dress ripped in the back and I mooned the saleslady."

Squealing, I almost laugh from the incredulity of it. "What? Are you serious?"

She nods, "I ran out the store before she could respond." Laughter bursts out from my mouth and I shake with mirth. "Stop it! I had to return and it was so awkward. I swear the saleslady couldn't look me in the eye and barely said a word to me."

"Did you buy it? Because I have to see it." I ask, shakily, still laughing.

"What do you think?" Eve storms off to the ladies' dress section and I begin to recover.

Once the laughter stops, I begin to think again. That kiss. That breath taking kiss. His soft lips pressing against mine and the minty freshness he breathed every time he exhaled. Okay, that last part sounds creepy but it makes sense if you've ever had that moment. The last time a kiss like that melted my knees (or whatever the saying is) was with Jeremy in the ninth grade but that was the last time I felt like that with him. Although, we kissed and talked it out Blue was ambiguous on where he stood. He didn't say that he didn't want to be steady with me but he didn't say anything in general. He just listened to what I had to say. Then, we left each other to our own devices and walked off. It has been two days since we saw each other and I'm growing anxious. It's like an itch I can't scratch.

And there's Ann. Man, do I feel like a total douche. Eve told me that when she and Blue broke up, Ann cried herself to sleep with a bucket of ice cream next to her. She's been a wreck essentially. Granted, I know dating Blue wouldn't be a crime technically but it is against "girl code." "Girl Code" is some dumb set of rules that each girl is biologically born with and forced to follow; so I'm either a guy or a hermaphrodite.

Dumping a load of clothes onto a bench, Eve says breathlessly, "I brought back some more clothes. Isn't this shop the best?"

"Yeah it is." Wait for it. "Because it's the only clothing shop here."

"Whatever," Eve's lips make a series of blubbering sounds. "A new shop is opening here soon anyway. The owner is the wife of that icky leech that touched you." I flinch at the memory; fierce anger twists and swells within me. "Don't worry though, she's a total sweetie. But I heard that he abuses her and tells her that she can't leave because she has no money or family."

This time I pull a face. "You know I hate gossip."

Eve digs through the pile, completely ignorant. Honestly, when it comes to gossip Eve can be so glib. "But it's true, one time I saw her in town with a black eye and bruises on her arms."

"Well, it's not your business or mine. So leave it alone." I say sharply.

"Jesus, no need to yell." Eve's tone is irritatingly casual. Before she can say anything else, I see a familiar but dreadful sight. Kurt. And his girlfriend. Shit. Every time we meet, the result is a disaster. I don't want deal with the perfect couple. Oh boy, the Harvest Goddess has a real knack for timing.

"Crap, can we leave?"

"No, I still don't have a dress for lunch with Dan's aunts."

Distractedly, I shove a fussy lavender 1950's dress into her arms and grabbed my bag, "Here, it complements your… whatever. I'll see you outside."

Ducking my head down and shoving my hands in my pockets, I make a mad rush for the exit. The door is so close and I can feel relief clearing my mind. That is until my face smashes into something cottony and I topple over. In an instant, clothes are scattered over the floor and I'm lying down on the cold floor pretending to be invisible.

"Oh my lord! I'm so sorry, honey! Do you need help? Are you hurt?" A grandmotherly voice asks. Maybe she's talking to another "honey."

"Christ, Rebecca, what happened?" Brilliant. I'm the worst chameleon in the world. Opening my tightly shut lids, I can make out a chiseled chin and hot cocoa eyes. Kurt's eyebrows are raised and his lips are pursed amusedly.

"My body coordination." I sit up and refuse to meet his eye. Scurrying, I help the old woman clean up and mutter and apology. My bag, however, is no where to be found and I'm on my hands and knees searching for it.

"Here, you dropped it." Kurt hands it back to me.

"Thanks… I got to go."

"Busy?"

"Sure." I shrug.

"Really?" He furrows his brows. "You're sure you're not avoiding someone?"

"I'm not avoiding you if that's what you think." _Just you and your girlfriend. Together._

With that word, I run right out the door into the street. The sun is blinding me as I run for my life and I think about my therapist telling about my avoidance issue with confrontations. Kurt's yelling something but it sounds like alien speak as my mind blocks out his words. I can hear him telling me to stop which only propels my feet even faster than before.

A car whooshes past me and I realize I ran onto the street on a green light. Again with the timing. Turning around, another car swishes by and the wind nearly knocks me down. Cars keep moving by, some fail to notice me and others don't care. I want to curl up into a ball and scream. What is wrong with me? Suddenly, a hand grabs my arm and pulls me in to a chest, which I feebly clutch. I'm being dragged off the street because my legs are weak and jelly-like.

Trembling, I pull my knees in and tuck them underneath my arms. Oh Goddess, now, I'm crying. I'm crying on the curb of a sidewalk looking the opposite of a cool femme fatale or whatever I'm supposed to be when I'm trying to look better off than my ex. Tears rivet down my face, staining it with rivers of brown mascara. Snot is dripping down my nose and I want my mommy. Except that she's gone and I cry harder. My body is limp with fear, I can barely move. A napkin presses against my eyes and I stop blubbering at its gentle touch. Without a word, Kurt dabs my cheeks and hands me another one, which I blow my nose in. He doesn't smile, but offers a hand. I accept.

"Thank you." My voice is a hoarse whisper and the bowl of pudding looks increasingly interesting. Except the chocolate pudding inside me wants to come back up and I shove the bowl aside. The restaurant is relatively quiet with an Elvis Presley song playing in the background. There's a couple talking animatedly with each other and a group of tanned girls sharing a bowl of salad. Why on earth did I come here? I could have been watching Dora the Explorer and have more fun even though I have a problem with her incessant questions and her annoying Spanglish.

We don't say anything at all and I start to remember the day I broke up with him. People always say that something's a long story but this one actually is.

It started out normally with Kurt visiting by train and settling in for a day. Save for the uncomfortable silence on the way to my home. Lately, we were fighting a lot over nothing and beginning to get frustrated with each other. Sometimes it would over a comic book character and whether or not his secret identity was stupid or a delayed train that was an hour late. Guess which happened that day. My friends were incredibly supportive and helped the mood with their lighthearted jokes but Kurt kept moping. We both went to the town square to set up for my party and started to talk more. I learned that Maria' love of pickled foods gave her food poisoning and needed to go to a hospital; he learned that Karen hates the smell of eggs and refused to talk with her boyfriend, Rick, until he brushed his teeth. Later, the party started and everyone was having fun dancing.

I didn't see Kurt until it was later in the party. Like lightening, Kurt struck me with questions about Jeremy out of nowhere and lugged me away from the party. He asked if I was cheating on him, or if I pretended that Jeremy was my boyfriend the whole time Kurt wasn't here and that Kurt was just my friend. He told me how humiliated he was when my friends were surprised when he told them about us. I was pissed off because none of it was true. Still, I would have told him that nothing happened between me and Jeremy. I mean I had nothing to hide. What sent me over the edge was when he asked me if I slept with Jeremy. In the most idiotic decision of my life, besides running into open traffic, I dragged Kurt and stormed over to Jeremy. Then, I kissed him to prove I didn't like him that way. Also, admittedly out of spite. I looked around to see Kurt's face but all I could see was an ashen and distant expression as if he didn't recognize me. Immediately, I regretted my actions and tearfully I told Kurt to leave.

My anger faded hours later and sadness mixed with extreme anxiety set in; while I was cleaning up the party my mom told me that Kurt left. He didn't even take his things that he left like his backpack. She told me that I should return it and that it would be a shame not to. Apprehensively, I used my birthday money for a ticket and latched on to his backpack for dear life as fear and sadness began to weigh on me. I was stupid; I should have denied his accusations adamantly and told him I love him instead of kissing Jeremy, who made nearly seven of my years dating him miserable. I couldn't have known that then but there were rumors that Jeremy had a bad temper especially with girls.

When I arrived in Flower Bud, it was raining badly despite this I ran to his house only to find Joe telling me he is at his friend, Jordan's (I mean _Nami's_) house. Joe offered to take the bag but I needed to apologize to Kurt. After getting directions, I ran off again into the opposite direction to find a brightly lit house. Knocking on the door, I wondered what the people were doing this late at night until the door opened and a skinny girl with dyed cherry red hair answered. I asked for Kurt and she told me that Kurt wasn't here even though his dirty sneakers were in plain sight. Slamming the door in my face, she tells me to leave. Suspiciously, I waited outside the living room window until I heard voices and the sound of a window opening. Right above me, Kurt's head drooped out of it and water droplets dotted his face. His eyes were closed and he looked peaceful. Suddenly, thin arms wrap themselves around him and that bitchy redhead leans her head against him. In that moment, I notice he wasn't wearing a shirt and my mind went nuts. That asshole had the guts to accuse me of cheating when he was messing around with this skinny cow? Out of shock, I threw his backpack into the window across from me, smashing the glass and alerting the two, who look straight down at me. I meet Kurt's surprised expression with my own. The only thing left to do was leave. That was the day I vowed to never return to Flower Bud yet here I am living the nightmare.

"I was wrong. What I did at that party was stupid. No, moronic." I say, swallowing back the lump in my throat, breaking the silence. Kurt meets my eyes in recognition of what I was talking about. "Inexcusable."

"Both of us were bad decision-makers at the time." He winced at the truth. "It was a misunderstanding though. I wasn't fooling around with Jordan at the time but I know it looked like it. Didn't it? Actually, it was when you ignored my calls… ignored me…"

Shit. I'm the biggest, most moronic, supremely idiotic ignoramus. At least I was back then. "Sorry. And honestly, I did sleep with Jeremy about a month after we broke up."

Kurt's expression was unreadable as he absorbs this in. At one moment, he looks like he wants to stab me in the face; at another moment, he looks like he understands me. He exhales raggedly. "I guess it was inevitable." Afterward, he calmly looks into my eyes. "Rebecca, I don't care."

"What?" I know I should be happy that he didn't explode but his reply just confuses me. Then again, Kurt confuses me in general; it was part of his charm.

"It's not my business who you date or have sex with. Therefore, I don't care. Rebecca, what I said that night you came back is true. I want to be friends or at least to stop ignoring each other. It hurts me when you treat me like a freak, running away from me and not making eye contact. You helped me through a good deal of sadness when we were younger, not just me but my family. Joe wouldn't have made it if you didn't comfort him so much and protect him. I wouldn't have made it. I still think about all those times you went with me to my parents' grave on their anniversary and how you were my shoulder to cry on. How you talked me through life. For a time, you made my life worth the pain. You still do to an extent."

My swollen eyes are welling up again. Great, I'm going to breakdown into my chocolate pudding. "I don't deserve this. You were my friend. Of course, I wanted to comfort you. It hurt me when you were hurt. And Joe is like my little brother. I wanted to give you guys the world and more. This sounds really phony, but I'm really sorry. I never meant it like that. I did want to disregard you on all counts, but I never meant to shut out Joe."

Flashbacks of Kurt silently crying at his parents' funeral while trying to be brave for Joe, who's bawling so openly, run through my mind. I haven't thought about that in a while. Repressed memories flood my brain, I begin to remember all those phone calls I ignored from Joe and that time he came to visit me. Joe's face was pale with desperation as he begged my mom to let him see me. All I did was tune him out with my music player and worked on my homework. Eventually, he left, but before he did I made the mistake of looking out the window and we made eye contact for a brief moment; he gave me the infamous gaze he inherited from his brother. Still, when I returned Joe was happy as a clam like he had forgotten that I betrayed him. I've never really thought about how selfish I am. How much people I've hurt.

"I'm sorry. I can't say anything else. I can't ask for your forgiveness. For Joe's. For anyone's. Sorry. Sorry." It's like my mind is skipping like a damaged record. I'm shaking from this discovery. I wish the floor would swallow me up from existence and no one would know who I am or was.

"Stop. I forgive you. You can't take back your mistakes but you can learn." Delicately, his hand grasps mine. Kurt is too good for me. He really is better off with anyone else beside me. He shouldn't even be here with me. "Rebecca, I'm sorry too. I know that I should have defended you from that creep but I was afraid. Cowardliness is one of my key faults and I wish I could have been braver for you."

"How about we let bygones be bygones? That way we can be friends and have no tension between us. Let's wipe the slate." Finally, my tears are gone and I feel bolder. And more afraid.

Kurt smiles his rare smile which tells me he accepts. Of all the wonders in life, why is it Kurt who still confuses me?


	12. Day By Day

"Rebecca, table six needs you. Now." Bambi puts a hand on my shoulder and jerks her thumb to a table near the door. It's the table with that creep from a while ago. Whatever. She's doing this on purpose except that I decided to grow a pair and chose to ignore Bud Wilson. He's ignorant, ugly, arrogant, and foul in every single way he could be but he hasn't bothered me since Joe knocked sense into him.

Filling up all the glasses with their usual orders, I make my way to their table tray in hand. Giving the glasses away to their respective drinkers, I ask, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Joe welcomes me and pats the back of an unfamiliar face, "Hi, Rebecca. I want you to meet Jamie! He owns the ranch up the road. Right now, he's volunteered to help us build Mrs. Wilson's shop."

I take a look at the androgynous face staring blankly off into space. He has a pointy nose and thin lips and a lean, sinewy body. Flopping in his face is lilac dyed shoulder-length hair, sticking out of his ten gallon hat. Comparing him to the other more muscular men around him, Jamie looks like that one item you're supposed to find in a picture labeled: What is wrong with this picture?

"Rebecca, you're going to love me. You said you need more money, right? Well, Jamie is looking for someone to help around his ranch and he's willing to pay well. Tell her, Jamie."

"I'll pay fifteen bucks an hour for the week days. You would work for three hours each day, from three to six."

"Wow, I don't know what to say… Thank you so much. When should I start?"

"How about tomorrow?"

"Perfect! You have no idea how much this means to me."

"You're welcome." His thin lips attempt a smile but ends up looking constipated. Obviously I don't tell him this.

Walking away, I'm awestruck. Fifteen bucks an hour for three hours! Lucky for me since my money supply is dangerously low. Uncle Duke doesn't really pay me much. He thinks that providing lodge is enough and it is; however I haven't been able to pay for anything myself for months.

"Rebecca, nice to see you here." Wrapping his arm around me, Blue catches me off guard.

"Hey, Blue. What are you doing here? I didn't think a bar would be your scene."

Placing a small kiss on my cheek, he grins, "Why do you think I'm here? I'm here for you."

"Really?" This is starting to seem trippy since Blue and I haven't talked for two weeks since our little chat in the Town Square. Not that this is bad, I like Blue a lot to the point of aggravating desperation. But trust me when I say that he left no indication that we were dating. Hell, PDA isn't his thing either. "That's a surprise."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't know we were steady. Are we?"

"Yeah, I thought I made that clear last time we met." Blue speaks slowly, "Who are you and what have you pod people done with Rebecca?"

I scoff. "I should be saying that to you with your PDA and smiley face. Well, I'm glad that that's clear because I really do like you."

"Good because I like you a lot too." He takes my hand and my heart thumps wildly.

A voice suddenly hacks and coughs rudely, "Oh isn't this sweet? Sickening. Get back to work, slacker."

Smiling smugly to Bambi's chagrin, Blue comments coyly, "Not the happy ending you're looking for, Snow White? Perhaps you were hoping for a musical number with wild animals?"

To annoy Bambi even more, I laugh bitchily like she did when her owner doused me. I hate it when I reduce myself to their level but it's so satisfying seeing those girls boil up with indignation. If I could bottle up that kind of satisfaction I wouldn't need a second job.

Crossing her arms, Bambi retorts, "Actually I was hoping for the ending where the douche bag realizes that he doesn't actually like that ugly, selfish tramp and goes back to his innocent victimized ex-girlfriend. So you can see why I'm disappointed, douche bag. Aren't you supposed to be smart?"

"You little bitch!" How many times am I supposed to apologize for something that isn't necessarily wrong? I'm ready to pound my fist into her baby like skin and break open her face. Bambi can see this on my face and her resolve melts like ice in a fire.

Backing up, she yelps prematurely, "Help, she's going to kill me! She's crazy!"

Blue has his hands firmly gripping my shoulders, immobilizing me. "Oh shut up, you pathetic coward. You aren't worth the blood I'd pound out of you!"

"Coward? At least I'm not some traitorous wench who steals her friend's boyfriend!" For a dumb ass, she has an extensive vocabulary.

"She didn't steal me, you idiot! By the way, can you stop talking about me like I'm a toy?" Blue interrupts irritably in the middle of Bambi's tirade. "Can't a person fall out of love without it being a big deal? Do you understand the concept of moving on, Bambi? Or should I draw you a diagram?"

"You haven't moved on, Blue. We all know that!" Bambi cries out. "What about Ann? Is she a toy? Some doll you play with until you're bored? She cries about you every day. She's miserable without you. Forget it, it's impossible to reason with deliberate ignorance. You two are so self-centered."

"What am I supposed to do, coddle Ann for the rest of her life?" Blue asks sarcastically.

"Do what you want to do. I'm not your mother. However, think about others before you do something. You aren't the only existing person on Earth." Bambi leaves in a huff.

"Are you okay?" Blue's arms wrap around me as I take a seat. "Listen, Bambi's in over her head and has no right to talk. We haven't done anything wrong or immoral. You have no reason to feel bad at all. How Ann deals with our break up is her business. Not yours and not mine. You can't keep feeling guilty over nothing."

"I know." I say slightly comforted.

"Rebecca, I want to be with you because you spark life in me; not because you seduced me or whatever bullshit Gwen and her cronies come up with." Blue picks up my chin, places a kiss on my lips and hugs me.

"Oooo, Rebecca and Blue kissing in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes marriage oof—" Joe jokes to lighten up the mood and Blue catches him in a full Nelson. "Hey, I was joking. You are truly superior, Blue sensei. Teach me, a mere humble weakling, the ways of your Crane kick."

"That's karate, you punk. This is wrestling." I laugh as Joe kicks and wriggles around in Blue's strong grip. "Let him go Blue. Look at how panicked Joe is."

"Thank you, Empress Amidala. Foolish weakling I be. Dagoba must go to. Train young Skywalker must I." Now, Joe is on the floor kissing my feet and speaking in a Yoda-like voice.

"Yo, what kind of world do you live in where there are both Yodas and Karate Kids?" I give Joe a soft punch in the arm.

"Bambi was out of line, Rebecca. I hope you don't believe in that shit. You didn't do anything to Ann intentionally." Joe says before hugging me. "I have to go but I want you to know that it gets better."

"Thank you." Bravely, I dare to smile and Joe hugs me again.

The day was finally done, everyone left ended up cleaning up the bar. Sweeping up the dusty floor, I take a surreptitious glance at Blue picking up trash. Do I really want/need a relationship right now? Blue is a good friend and it would be nice to have someone to love. He is the most chivalrous gentleman I've met in a long time and very sweet. Look at how he defended me. For some weird reason, I feel as if this relationship might be stressful but I know if we stick it out together then it might not be impossible. That was it. At that moment, I decided that Blue and I deserved a chance to make this happen. A chance for happiness.


	13. Lonely

_Author's note: This chapter contains graphic violence and cursing, so if any of those things aren't your cup of tea I suggest you skip this chapter but don't give up on my story please. I'm grateful for all of my supporters without them I wouldn't have gone this far. Thank you._

* * *

"Thanks, Carl." I take the bag full of pastries that Carl just weighed and priced, paying him with a ten dollar bill. Pulling out a chocolate croissant and munching on it, I hum a familiar tune. Nevertheless, my life refuses to go smoothly because I happen to bump into a poor girl. Soon enough, we're both on the floor scrambling for our respective treats.

Picking up a plastic wrapped blueberry muffin, I hand it over to the innocent victim of my bad luck. "Here you go. I'm really sorry. Honestly, I'm such a klutz at times when good food is around."

"It's no problem at all." The girl looks up from the floor and my face freezes. Just my luck. Kurt's present girlfriend is the one who witnesses my fall from grace. "It's nice to see you again, Rebecca. How have you been?"

"Nice to see you too, Dia. I'm fine. Sorry, but I'm naturally clumsy like this. If I sneeze in one room, a vase will break in another room for an inexplicable reason." I chuckle to hide my mortification and my hands scramble wildly to cover up my red face.

To my surprise Dia laughs with me. Even Dia's laugh is delicate and girly. That really isn't fair. "Would you like to have a cup of tea with me?"

"Sure, why not?" There really was no way to avoid it since she probably heard me tell Carl that I'm not busy at the moment. Shrugging, I take a seat across Dia who hands me a cup filled with steaming green tea. In an awkward silence, we both observe each other discreetly.

Today on a crisp early autumn morning, Dia is garbed in an expensive velvet dress along with wool socks that stuck out of her black flats. It was not an entirely elegant look but with her manners and grace Dia could make a potato sack look like Grace Kelly's wedding dress. Hovering near her is Gina, whose presence heaps on another layer of tension. Presently, where I stand with Gina is unknown as she acknowledges me with a curt nod and even talks to me but her demeanor is never entirely friendly. Though I suppose forgiving me for not intervening when she needed me the most is out of question, it's been eight years already. If a person can't learn to forgive and clear her heart in that amount of time then her heart can only fill up with anger and hate. Although, I can't blame her for hating half the girls in Flower Bud with burning rage even people like Eve and Ellen. None of the girls, including me (in fact, I might be the most undeserving since I dragged her in that mess), really deserve her forgiveness at this point but Gina doesn't help with her aloof attitude.

"Do you enjoy sweets?" Dia smiles and nods towards my bag overflowing with treats.

"Yes, my friends all happen to think it's a vice of mine. How about you?"

"I'm not a particular lover of sweets but I do occasionally eat the odd blueberry muffin or two." Not to be rude, but Dia doesn't look like she eats much. Her fine features are sharpened by her skinniness while her limbs appear to be bony. Even her chest is flat and childlike. Okay that last part was bitchy but compared to her I feel like a greasy cow. To be accurate, I feel like a greasy, stumbling cow with an ex-girlfriend complex.

Practically reading my mind, Dia pats her flat stomach. "I know it looks like I do not eat much but I have no interest in food. I think it is mostly a waste of time."

For some odd reason, I blurt out. "Oh, I love food. In fact, if I didn't care about my growing waist I would spend every waking moment eating something. Sometimes I take a shower chewing gum to take my mind off of food."

Dia giggles friendly and both of us relax for a moment. "Rebecca, you do not have to worry about your waist at all. You are positively beautiful if you do not mind my saying." At the last statement, a glint in Dia's green eyes forms and there's an edge to her voice.

"Thank you." Nervously, I set down the cup that was formerly suffering under my steel grip. "Do you like Flower Bud? I know you moved here from another town awhile ago."

"Yes, my old town was nice but I felt compelled to leave. Restlessness overcame me, I suppose." Dia stares into her teacup with intense interest and wonder.

"Well, I hope you find the townspeople here welcoming. I grew up with most of the villagers and they're like family. I think that in time we will all become part of your family." Cheerily, my voice falters. I want to cheer up Dia since she appeared to be incredibly heart broken when she spoke of her home town. Her shoulders sagged and her eyes were wet; my comments only upset her further. Gina protectively puts an arm around Dia and tells me that it is time for them to leave. We all bid each other good bye and leave the shop one after another. Looking over my shoulder one last time, Dia gives the impression of being a wounded sparrow—broken with despair and sorrowful.

* * *

"Rebecca, fancy meeting you here!" Joe greets me like I'm a rock star and my mood lightens up. His toothy smile, spread from ear to ear, gives me a warm feeling and his hug, strong arms engulfing my skinny body, reminds me that I'm not a completely horrible person to have a friend like Joe.

"Joe, what brings you here? Here to see your sweetie?" Cheekily, I wink and espouse another terrible pun, "Or are you here to get some sugar?"

"Actually, I am." Joe says, his smile growing nervous. "Newsflash, Rebecca, I've already heard those before."

"Aw. And here I was, thinking I'm Richard Pryor." Sarcastically, I pull a face in mock despair resulting in Joe laughing.

"At least you don't resemble him in appearance. Don't get me wrong, he's a decent looking guy but hardly suited to wearing skinny jeans and a blouse. Could you imagine?" In unison, we crack up at the thought of a grown man in skinny jeans cursing.

After a few minutes of laughing at something no one else would find funny, I ask, "Aren't you going in? Katie isn't going to wait forever and if I were you I'd hop on that train fast. It isn't ordinary to have such a smart, funny, and cute girlfriend."

Joe's left eyebrow raises up in suspicion. "Did she put you up to this?"

Surprised, I admit defeat. "Half-and-half. How do you know?"

"Five other people told me the exact same thing this morning. This is worse than an actual war because at least then I get a gun. Geez, I'm being ambushed left and right." His face looks frustrated like a child who was denied a toy.

"I'm sorry, it's just that Katie's been a good friend to me since I've been here and she really likes, no probably loves you. She has a heart and no one wants to see it break, okay? So listen to your big sister, treat her like a princess." Lightly, my hand lifts up his face so his eyes meet mine.

"Okay. It's not like I'm not, you know."

"Have you met yourself, Casanova?" Jokingly, I punch his arm causing him to wince.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means watch out for yourself and for Katie, okay. Your big sister is worried about you. I mean, really, are you even eating anything healthy?"

"Yes, I am. Holy goddess, since when did you become my brother?"

"Since you were born, you little punk." I ruffle his hair to his dismay. "Look, I'd love to stay and chat but Eve is pregnant and hungry. Not the ideal person to deal with but I'll live. I'll see you at the bar later, alright?"

"Alright, bye Rebecca. Send Eve my love."

"Will do, Joe. Will do." Funny how moods change but talking with Joe has been a relief because for once no one is accusing or feeling awkward. It'll always be a brother-sister relationship and for that I'm grateful because no matter what I do he won't push or reject me. The Harvest Goddess has practically cursed me but at least she had to the humanity to give me some one that loves me, someone who brings light to this dark world.

On my way home, I hear a commotion coming from a field nearby and my curiosity is immediately aroused. Taking fast strides towards the noise, I can start to make out some of the sounds.

"Yeah, get it good!"

"Ha ha, this is the funniest shit ever!"

Suddenly, a deep feeling sinks into me and something urges me to speed up. Running, towards the uproar I can see the two idiots making noise. Jesus. It's Bud Wilson and one of his friends, Rob, I think. They're kicking at something and laughing cruelly. Yelps of helplessness cry out and my feet leap renewed with adrenaline. Bud is in a hysterical laughing fit while Rob continually kicks at something. To my horror, Bud suggests something that is beyond cruel.

"Hey, let's see if this little feller can swim." Bud picks up a scruffy, beaten puppy and grins at his rat-like friend.

"Yeah. I've always wanted to learn how to doggy paddle." Rob's lips pull back to reveal thin, yellow needles that supposedly are his teeth. That's it! These filthy rats are going down!

"Step away from that innocent dog! You mangy low lives! What did it ever do to you, scummy cretins? Touch that poor creature one more time and I'll shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll taste rubber!" I shriek, confronting the startled duo. Startled but unafraid.

"Those are some ugly words coming out of a pretty mouth. That little rat pissed on my shoe and thought he could get away with it." Bud leers as he holds the puppy by the skin of its neck and out of my reach. He's playing with me as he keeps raising the frightened, limp puppy out of my reach while I attempt to save it. "Your punk in shining armor isn't here to save you, princess, so what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't need anyone to save me. You're trash and I'm the garbage man. You do the math." Balling up my fist tightly, I muster all my strength into this one punch and aim it carefully. Ready set go. My fist makes contact with his nose and I hear a sickening crunch. Blood spurts out every where and Bud cries out in pain, letting the puppy go free. Ok, I didn't mean to do that. Honestly, I really didn't mean to do that. Shocked, I back up and bump into Rob, who angrily pushes me to the ground.

"You, little bitch. Who do you think you are?" Rob slaps me across my face, hard, and spits in my face. He puts his face close to mine and I could smell the alcohol rolling off his tongue. "I'll teach you a lesson. Stupid bitch, you never learned not to mess with men? Oh, I'll teach you good."

He raises his hand again but before he can do a thing both of my feet spring to action, propelling my feet to his chest I knock him off of me. Quickly, I scramble to my feet and search for the puppy urgently. My search ends abruptly when my back is knocked back down by Bud's powerful kick. Forcing me to stay down, Rob rests a knee into my back, pressing deeply until I feel like my spine is going to break in half while Bud kicks me in my ribs mercilessly. Swiftly, Rob lifts me up with my arms locked under his strong, vise-like grip. Bud smiles evilly and for the first time, I'm scared for my life.

"Oops, looks like we lost our puppy. Rob, what do you think we should do with the one we just found? Do you think she wants to play?" He chucks my chin playfully and instinctively, my body writhes in disgust.

"Go to hell, you dirty little sack of crap!" This time it's my turn to spit and it splats against his grimy face perfectly. Except I regret doing it since in return, Bud's fist slams into my face. It feels like some one threw a bundle of bricks at my face. Instantly, I cry out feeling exactly like the puppy.

"Aw, the puppy doesn't want to play. Too bad," His rough hand jerks my face roughly to meet his, "Listen to me, I will make you regret ever messing with me, got it? I will make you wish that you were in hell, you little slut."

"Eat my shit." I kick out furiously; hoping one of them makes its mark. Mockingly, I smile smugly, "Too scared to fight someone your size? You're nothing but a yellow bellied drunk. By the way, didn't your mom teach you not to hit women or at least not so weakly? Also, if you ever hurt another innocent creature, again, I'll make you wish you ate my shit!"

He throws another furious punch, which nearly knocks me unconscious, and growls, "Don't bring my mother into this, whore. Or I'll knock out all of your teeth and make you eat them."

"Try me!" I scream angrily. I'm not going down without a fight. Out of nowhere, I bite one of Rob's arms, who proceeds to nurse his stinging wound freeing me in turn. Dealing a swift but powerful kick to Bud's family jewels, I bring him to his knees and I give Rob the same deal. The puppy yelps again and I find it behind a bush. The poor thing is terribly weak and squirming in pain. Carefully, I pick it up and cradle it in my arms. Hearing their cries behind me, I run for my life and the puppy's, whose seem to be fading.

"Please don't die, little guy. Just a little bit longer, please wait." The puppy's breathing has become shallow and quick. Spying the local clinic, hope sprouts like a flower albeit a weak and pitiful one. My legs are weakening and my vision is starting to blur. I'm so close just a bit further. Please. Harvest Goddess, don't do this to me again. First my mom and now this innocent being? He may be little but damn it he deserves a life doesn't he? I'm a couple feet away from the clinic when my vision completely darkens and my body smashes into the stone ground pathetically. Crawling towards the door with the puppy in tow, I begin to realize how dismal my efforts are. I'm not going to make it and neither is the poor puppy. However, I can make out a voice, calling out to me frantically and the hope blooms with new energy.

"Christ, Rebecca, what happened to you?" My shoulders are being shaken hysterically and I can feel tears drip onto my face, mingling with my own.

Weakly, I push the puppy into the hysterical person's hands and croak, "Save him, please. I can't live with myself if I lose him. I can't go through that again, please."

Before the person can respond, everything blacks out and I can only hope that the puppy is saved. Dear Harvest Goddess, please don't do this to me. Don't make me live with this again.


	14. It Hurts

Am I dead? No. The light is blinding me. Someone turn it off. My eyes are burning and my head is pounding furiously. I'm definitely not dead… yet. Using my limp arms, I struggle to prop myself up against a pillow and lay back. The room is crisp and clean. White, stiff furniture decorate the room sparingly and the only source of color comes from the posters sturdily tacked on the walls. All the posters offer some form of health advice although some are very disturbing, for example there is a cartoon apple eating a banana saying that the banana is delicious and "chock full of potassium" while the banana smiles cheerfully despite not having the top of its head anymore and being naked. Strangely, this picture of the stupid banana infuriates me and I throw my pillow at it. Dumb banana, why is it so happy at the prospect of being eaten? And why can't that stupid ringing get out of my head? How did this all happen anyway? Ugh I hate this! Why do I feel like crap right now? My chest feels like some one used it like a piñata, I can't breathe without a sharp twinge stabbing my chest and my useless right hand is trapped in a cast. The only good thing is I can move my arms and legs but everything aches. Furiously, I rise out of my bed until acute pain sparks from my foot all the way up to my body. Stupid foot.

Footsteps approach my room and I settle myself back into bed, angrily waiting for an answer. A voice trembles slightly as he asks. "How is she, Alex?"

"She should be fine it's only a mild traumatic brain injury or, as you know it, a concussion. The only serious damage was her two broken ribs and her right hand and those are all healing. Gee, Kurt, I wish you could see the look on your face. I thought you were over her." Alex's voice chuckles good naturedly.

Kurt's voice stiffens. "I am, Alex, but she's my friend. Can I help but be concerned? You know finding your good friend drop face first on the ground looking like road kill isn't exactly a carnival ride."

"Gee whiz, Kurt, take it easy or I'm going to have to give you some heart medication. All I've been saying is that you've been on edge ever since you brought her here. Now, we need to be really quiet as to not wake her up." Silently, Alex opens the door and enters in quiet as a mouse. Kurt, on the other hand, stumbles nervously across the whole room. For a reason foreign to me, I feign sleep and focus on listening to them talk rather than on my headache.

"How are things with Dia? Are they going good or even better than good?" There's a hidden amusement in Alex's voice that makes me want to rip out his throat.

"Things are good and I'd like it to stay that way, Alex. Not that it's your business."

"Okay okay, Lord Kurt, the high and mighty. You need a chill pill. Too bad I ran out." Mentally, I roll my eyes. I can hear Alex rattling a container open and taking something out of it but I don't dare to look. "Now, how do you think I should give her the pill? Through her food? I know that she'd rather die than take any medication if the rumors are true."

"What rumors?"

"You know the ones about her abusing alcohol, drugs and the like. Her so called hard partying. Then, her going to rehab after her mom died. I can't believe that you out of all people haven't heard of this." Say what? Who the hell is going around telling people this kind of crap and how can people just pass it off like cheap gossip? I mean it's as true as the chestnut locks of my hair but people shouldn't be spreading this around. No wonder everyone's nice to my face; it's like meeting a celebrity, someone you heard of and can easily distance yourself from. And I thought Alex was my friend. Or at least friendly.

"Alex, you're usually a cool guy and good friend but if you ever talk about Rebecca like that again I'll rearrange your body parts until it looks like a game of Operation."

"In her food it is."

"Alex, if you even touch my food, I'll shove it down your throat." I grumble, ending my fake sleep. Alex looks up in shock while Kurt's head perks up. They both rush to my side, forcing me to back up as they interrogate me.

"Rebecca, how are you feeling?"

"Does your head ache?"

"Do your ribs hurt much?"

"How does your hand feel?"

Putting my fingers on both of their lips, I comment, "Cranky; yes, like you wouldn't believe; excruciating; and I don't think I'll be able to write or draw for a while but other than that I'm just peachy. Any more questions?"

Kurt pulls away from my finger and crosses his arms, "What happened to you?"

"It was Bud, I think. My mind is still fuzzy on everything. I remember punching him and kicking the futureless children out of his buddy, Rob and then running away." Suddenly, my mind flashes back to the puppy and desperately I clutch onto Kurt's shirt, "The puppy. They were beating up a puppy. What happened to the puppy? Where is he?"

"Relax, Rebecca, the little guy is alright. Damaged but with time he'll get better. He'll have a nasty limp and his ribs will feel like hell for awhile. Right now he's sleeping." Kurt smiles at me as I begin to relax my body. Relieved, my eyes water and tear relentlessly. Gratefully, I give Kurt the biggest hug ever and thank him. Thank you, too, Harvest Goddess. For once, you listened.

"Now, eat. You need a lot of rest and nutrition." Clearing his throat, Alex sets a tray of steaming meatloaf and gray peas in front of me and it takes all of my will not to chuck it back at him. As I start to spoon the food uneasily into my mouth, Alex continues, "It will take a while for your ribs and hand to heal which means no heavy lifting or work for any matter. You also have a mild concussion but it's not serious. If you have a headache just take two ibuprofen pills and lay down. And your bruises will get better in time but for now I suggest avoiding mirrors."

"Thank you, Dr. Kevorkian, I feel so much better now."

"And also, your crankiness is a symptom of your concussion but unfortunately we'll have to wait for that to end." Alex remarks grudgingly and my urge to strike him over his head with the tray compels me. But I won't do that since he is the one who with the scalpel.

Before I can retort something witty, we hear multiple sets of footsteps approaching the room. The door bursts open to reveal Eve, who in her pregnant glory, looks like a wreck. Uncle Duke followed closely behind and Grandpa Terry, who finally came back to town, who appears to be the most confused out of them all. Then again he probably wasn't expecting to come back home to find his own granddaughter beaten to a pulp. Uncle Duke's normally handsome features are locked in a grimace and Eve's lovely face is tearstained. Grandpa Terry, however, has this unreadable expression.

"Rebecca! How are you?" Crushing me against her pregnant belly, Eve cries out. "We were so worried. You look terrible!"

"Thanks Eve. I feel even worse."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Look, I got you some treats since the ones you bought were unsalvageable." Gratefully, I snatch a sugar cookie out of the bag and hungrily devour it.

Uncle Duke gives me a gentle, comforting hug, and then brings his face close to mine. The look in his face look familiar, it's the one he gets whenever Eve or I do anything bad. "Rebecca, be honest. What on Earth happened to you? Do not lie to us."

"Why would I, Uncle Duke?" Calmly, I go through the whole story of Bud and Rob kicking the puppy senseless and my stepping in which would lead to my own beating. All of faces in the room change from fascinated into disgusted and angry. Throughout my story, I begin to realize how angry I've become too and how my half-eaten cookie has been crumbled into bits. I feel like someone is crushing my chest and I'm letting them. Wow, I've never really felt like this since I left Jeremy nor do I like the feeling much. It's poisonous. I have to put an end to that indescribable emotion before it grows and festers in my heart like ivy, slowly killing me.

"Bud and Rob! I should have known. Don't worry we'll get those punks and settle this in court. We'll see those misogynistic bastards get the full ride." Like a hammer, Uncle Duke's fist keeps pounding into the hardened flesh of his other hand. Everyone agreed wholeheartedly and cheered like Uncle Duke came up with the cure for cancer.

"No." If I see any one of those low lives again that I'll form a grudge so strong that it won't end until someone is dead. It's extreme but that's how I felt and still feel about Jeremy. To tell the truth, I can't even think of Jeremy without some form of resentment let alone forgive him at the moment.

The room is invaded by silence as everyone gawks at me. "What?"

"I'm not doing it. Remember I also kicked the cranberries out of them which makes me responsible."

"But that was for self defense. Besides you were also trying to save an innocent puppy." Eve reassures me. "Come on, what's wrong?"

Sighing, I tell the truth. "Honestly, I don't think I can face any one of them again. Please don't make me face them again. They're the worst kind of scum and I want nothing to do with them."

"You're a fool." Astonished, everyone's attention transfers to Kurt, appearing to be thinking aloud, who continues, "Rebecca, if you don't take action what message will you be sending them? That it's fine to harm innocent, weaker beings? If you don't end this right now, those two bastards are only going to take it as a sign of acceptance and do the same thing to others not nearly as bold as you. Rebecca, I know you're afraid but you need to do this for all of the potential future victims. You're brave which is why I have faith in you. We all have faith in you."

Everyone gives me a warm, reassuring smile. Darn, Kurt and his sense of justice. He's right, though. "Fine, but I don't want to see them out of court and I don't want their money. I'm not desperate enough to take dirty cash. Give it to charity."

Everyone resumed cheering and then got busy. Kurt decided to give another call to Blue, who was out of town. Eve had to go throw up and like a linebacker bulled her way through to the bathroom. Alex goes to check up on the puppy and other patients. Uncle Duke proceeds to call his lawyer friend leaving just Grandpa Terry and me by ourselves.

Grandpa Terry is my only living grandparent and my mother's dad. Her death left him devastated just like my Grandmother Mara's did. Since, then, he's shrunk into a shell of his former self. He's still the town ranger but he's no longer strong and tough. It's like seeing Dirty Harry taken down a couple of pegs. He left town for a while when I returned because he couldn't handle seeing me again, telling Eve that I remind him too much of my mother who reminds him too much of my late grandmother. He's the toughest man I know but my family really screwed him over in life. First, my grandmother dies from carbon monoxide poisoning which causes his own children to become rebellious and resentful of him. Then, his "good" daughter ditches town to follow some rich charlatan (his words not mine) and returns only to dump his granddaughter on his doorstep. Then, my mom marries a good-for-nothing cheating scumbag (again his words) who leaves her and his innocent granddaughter for a plastic Barbie doll. Then, his only son who he hoped to succeed him as town ranger wastes all of his money and savings on owning a bar, selling alcohol which Grandpa Terry detests. Then, his so-called innocent granddaughter (me) rebels like her mother; drinking and cursing like a sailor, partying until the wee hours of dawn and staying in a self-destructive relationship with an abusive, immature boy. The only one not to really screw with Grandpa is Eve, who is pregnant but engaged. My family really is a soap opera without the glamour and tacky makeup.

"Grandpa, what are you thinking of?" Gently, I put my undamaged hand on his wrinkly, soft arm.

He meets my eyes with tears in his. "You look so much like your mother right now. You have that bright sparkle in your eyes that your mom was famous for. Do you know how proud your mother would be of you?"

"Yeah, I do." But I don't believe in those words because all I've ever done was acting like a terrible daughter.

"I'm proud of you. You stood up for what you believed in and stood your ground. It takes someone with guts to face something frightening. If I were you, I don't think I could have done what you did. You're special, Rebecca, just like your grandmother was. I'm sorry I wasn't there to tell you so when you needed it most." He squeezes my hand tenderly as we share a warm yet tentative smile. Everyone begins to pile back into the room and clean up the wrappers of pastries and other things. Eve puts her arm around my shoulder and places my head against her chest. Eve the mama bird has flown into the building.

"It'll get better." Eve says, which I'm grateful for since others just ask how much in pain I am. "Alex says we can take you home tomorrow but the puppy will have to stay for the rest of the week. You did a good thing facing those bullies. If I weren't preggers I'd give them a run for their money alright."

"Good news, Al said he'd do it for free. He'll come around sometime next week to talk. Girls, I have to go and open up the bar. I hate to leave, but I guess I'll have to see you tomorrow, Rebecca. Or should I say Rocky?" Uncle Duke gives me a kiss on my forehead and an evident wink.

Grimacing, I face Eve and moan, "Please don't tell me I look like Rocky. I've already got enough on my plate."

She only laughs in response and hands me a sandwich, "Eat. You look ravenous."

Slamming his cell phone shut, Kurt tells me that Blue isn't picking up his phone. "Blue, you idiot, what could you be doing that requires you to have your phone shut off?"

"Relax, I'm not dying in fact I feel fine. I'll call Blue later. You should go home, Kurt. You've aged a couple years," Cautiously, I smile and laugh to ease the tension until my laughter turns into hacking coughs that bring Kurt to my side.

"You don't sound fine."

My tone takes a turn for the snappy, "And I'm pretty sure I don't look fine but I can handle this by myself, okay? You're not my mom."

"But I am someone that loves you."

"What?"

Turning red, he buries his face in his hands. "Not like that. We're past that but … there will be a part of me that loves you. So forgive me for being concerned. By the way, there's nothing you can do to make me leave."

"And there's nothing you can do to make me leave." Annoyed, I mimicked.

Kurt smirked his usual crooked smirk, "It's nice to have you back."

With an equally superior smirk, I retort. "I feel super to be back."


End file.
